The Republican Party brings you holiday miracles

The holiday season is a special time of year for Americans of all faith traditions. The arrival of Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year’s brings good cheer and joy to family, friends, and even perfect strangers. Above all, it is for many a time of reflection on the miracles that define the meaning of human existence in this life and the next.

In keeping with the spirit of the season, the Republican Party has been marking the end of the second decade of the 21st century with some miracles of its own. For these magical events and mysterious developments that defy the laws of science and nature, the GOP’s message to Americans is simply this: You’re welcome.

The Hanukkah Miracle of Rudy Giuliani. Married to and divorced from three women in rapid, possibly overlapping succession, the president’s lawyer may not be the world’s greatest Catholic. But in his telling, Rudy “is more of a Jew” than Holocaust survivor and philanthropist George Soros. Refusing to back down on his story, Giuliani is making one day’s worth of his anti-Semitism last eight.

Holy See Do You Say. Speaking of the thrice-married, on Dec. 15, former House Speaker and Fox News regular Newt Gingrich proclaimed, “I had to speak out about the vast differences” between the impeachment of Bill Clinton in 1998 and the impeachment of Donald Trump just days ago. When Newt declared, “I should know,” he was telling the truth. After all, the third Mrs. Gingrich is now called the United States ambassador to the Vatican. But back in the mid-90s, Callista Bisek was known only as Newt’s “frequent breakfast companion.” Despite Gingrich’s humiliation, Fox News keeps resurrecting him.

The Pool Boy Who Walked on Water. In the wake of Christianity Today’s thundering editorial calling for the removal of President Trump, Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. rose to the defense of the man who spoke so passionately at his school about the two Corinthians who walked into a bar. Far from turning the other cheek, Falwell proclaimed, “I told the crowd at the Palm Beach GOP Christmas/Hanukkah party tonight that I predict the 2020 election will be Hiroshima and Nagasaki for the Dems!” But if nuclear evisceration seems out of keeping with the teachings of the Prince of Peace, Falwell would have you remember the words of Matthew 5:5: “Blessed is the pool boy, for he shall inherit my worth.”

Gold, Frankincense, and Body Bags. The Baptist with a business plan wasn’t the only one of the faithful to come to Trump’s aid. Ralph Reed, founder of the Faith and Freedom Coalition, lamented that it was “sad to see a publication founded by Billy Graham echo the arguments of The Squad & the Resistance & deepen its irrelevance among Christians.” And if anyone knows what’s relevant to Christians, it is Jack Abramoff’s unindicted partner in crime. As Reed described his mission in 1991, “I want to be invisible. I do guerrilla warfare. I paint my face and travel at night. You don't know it's over until you're in a body bag. You don't know until election night.”

Turning Wine into Water. Following his first meeting with Kim Jong Un on June 13, 2018, President Donald Trump tweeted, “There is no longer a Nuclear Threat from North Korea.” That September, Trump cooed, “He wrote me beautiful letters” and “we fell in love.” Still in love in August 2019, the president praised a new Kim missive as “a beautiful letter,” even if it was followed within hours by more projectiles launched by Pyongyang. That’s why there was such great anticipation at the Pentagon for a “Christmas gift” from North Korea. As it turns out, the present wasn’t the “beautiful vase” Trump was hoping for, but more advances in solid-fuel and submarine-launched ICBMs from the still-very-much-a-nuclear-threat North Korea.

The St. Peter Principle. In business, there is the notion of the “Peter principle,” according to which an employee is promoted to their level of incompetence. In Congress, this is known as Kevin McCarthy. The Republican House minority leader shocked most sentient creatures this week when he inverted the results of the Justice Department’s inspector general report on the FBI and the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election. Falsely accusing the FBI of “breaking into the Trump campaign,” McCarthy proclaimed the unbiased Trump-Russia investigation a “modern-day Watergate.” Of course, McCarthy has made a career in Republican politics by lying in public. In September, he pretended that the transcript of President Trump’s call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky did not include “though” in the infamous request, “I would like you to do us a favor though.” In September 2010, Young Guns co-author McCarthy declared, “No one has a proposal up to cut Social Security” despite his book calling for exactly that.

Ironically, it was only when he told the truth in public that Rep. McCarthy got in trouble with GOP leaders. His Kinsley gaffe of accidentally telling the truth came in September 2015, when McCarthy admitted that the whole point of the special committee created to investigate Benghazi was to lower Hillary Clinton’s poll numbers. That likely cost him his next promotion to speaker of the House, at least until Republicans recapture the lower chamber. But McCarthy’s career is hardly over. If for nothing else, he will go down in history as the Patron Saint of Incompetence.

Celebrating Our “Judeo-Christian Heritage.” Among the most touching and beautiful of holiday stories are those in which people of different faith traditions discover their common humanity. So it is with the Likud Party of Israel and its faithful appendage in Washington, the GOP. In Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu is trying to prove that being indicted is no barrier to a prime minister remaining in office. In America, Donald Trump has already shown that the president can’t be indicted as long as he remains in office. Regardless, it is especially moving to see our two nations cherish shared values such as bribery, abuse of power, and obstruction.

Republicans Are All Eastern Orthodox Now. In the annals of human history, there are not many instances in which a single man changed the hearts and minds of an entire people. But Donald Trump is one such man. Once upon a time, Republicans were ardently anti-Russian. As recently as 2012, they were led by Mitt Romney, a man who baselessly charged the sitting Democratic president with believing that “the best interests of America are to bow to the interests of Russia.” Trump changed all that. With all of the American intelligence agencies, the Senate Intelligence Committee led by Republican Sen. Richard Burr, and the Mueller report all in agreement that Russia intervened in the 2016 election for the express purpose of aiding The Donald at the expense of Hillary Clinton, Trump now has supporters arguing the exact opposite.

While National Security Council Ukraine expert Fiona Hill authoritatively rejected the “fictional narrative that has been perpetrated and propagated by the Russian security services themselves” about Ukrainian assistance to the Clinton campaign, Trump nevertheless told Fox & Friends, “A lot of it had to do, they say, with Ukraine.” Now, it’ not just Burr and Louisiana GOP Sen. John Kennedy pointing the finger at Ukraine. When Tucker Carlson earlier this month said, “I think we should probably take the side of Russia if we have to choose between Russia and Ukraine,” polling showed that some 45% of Republicans agreed with him. Other polling shows a similar impact within the U.S. military, with 46% saying they viewed Russia as ally.

Numbers like that may be disastrous for the national security of the United States, but they are miraculous all the same. Donald Trump may not have healed the sick and fed the multitude with loaves and fishes. But he has done almost as impressive a job in getting almost half the country not to believe the objective truth.

Which is why, despite the growing mountain of incontrovertible evidence confirming his corruption and criminality, the impeached Donald Trump and his faithful followers aren’t going to give up. After all, his staunchest allies in Congress proclaimed, it wasn’t over when Jesus bombed Pearl Harbor.

Trump’s phone calls to Ukraine show no concerns for security … but does it matter?

The entire multi-year, still ongoing effort to smear Hillary Clinton concerned how a handful of classified documents were handled as they passed through her email. In the case of Clinton, there’s no evidence that any of that email, not a single document, was ever stolen or otherwise circulated outside of regular channels. But the same can’t be said of the Trump White House. Not only have multiple “officials” continued to use unprotected personal accounts in handling official documents, not only has Trump repeatedly overruled security officials to hand out clearance like candy, not only has Jared Kushner delivered confidential information in exchange for personal favors, but Trump has insisted on using his personal cell phone for communications. He’s done so even when those communications are being made to areas where the communications network is known to be compromised. Like Ukraine.

One of the most consistent features of the Ukraine scandal has been Trump on the phone with people filling him in on the progress of his extortion scheme. And whether it was screaming at Gordon Sondland in a Kyiv restaurant, or getting the latest from Rudy Giuliani on efforts to smear an ambassador, Trump seems to have conducted a lot of these calls via very, very not-secure cellphones. As The Washington Post reports, phone records released as part of the impeachment inquiry only reinforce the casual attitude Trump took toward systems that are known to be monitored by Russian agents, among others.

Trump both made and received calls that did not come over encrypted lines or follow any other guidelines for protecting security. Which means that not only was Ukraine aware of how he was withholding military assistance over demands that they help in his schemes to smear opponents—which they absolutely were—Russia knew about it. One more time: As Trump was talking to Giuliani about his scheme to extort Ukraine, a scheme that meant not only delaying the assistance they wanted, but damaging their relationship with the United States, he did so in a way that invited Russia to listen in.

But … does it really matter at this point? As his recent jaunt to Europe demonstrated, Trump is a laughingstock among leaders of other nations. As his actions in Syria demonstrated, Trump doesn’t give a damn about commitments to allies. And as Rudy Giuliani’s current actions in Ukraine demonstrate, Trump is done with secret plots to get foreign governments to smear political rivals—he’s just doing it in the open. Are there any secrets still worth protecting?

At multiple points in the defense of Trump, Republicans—specifically Devin Nunes—made it clear that they didn’t regard the release of classified information as even a road-bump in efforts to defend Trump. Hell, Nunes went ahead with publishing information that directly threatened U.S. assets and fieldcraft, even with both the heads of the CIA and FBI came to Congress to ask that he hold back. Defending Trump trumps everything … sorry about that, formerly living agents.

And it’s not as if Russia really needs to listen in to Trump’s calls to see where he’s going. Coming out of their meeting in Helsinki, Vladimir Putin announced exactly what was going to happen in Ukraine months before Trump got on the phone with President Zelensky to tell him to … work it out with Putin. It’s hard to protect “secrets” from the people who are generating them.

The Post considers the disclosure of Trump’s continued defiance of security to be “remarkable given Trump’s attacks on Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential campaign.” But it’s only remarkable if those attacks on Clinton were made out of genuine concern over security. Which they definitely, definitely were not.

The biggest mistake Democrats made in the impeachment hearings was not focusing on CrowdStrike

The biggest mistake Democratic representatives made in the entire series of impeachment hearings is the failure to explain what Dr. Fiona Hill meant when she included this in her opening statement:

Based on questions and statements I have heard, some of you on this committee appear to believe that Russia and its security services did not conduct a campaign against our country—and that perhaps, somehow, for some reason, Ukraine did. This is a fictional narrative that has been perpetrated and propagated by the Russian security services themselves.

Throughout the day, Republicans waved copies of Devin Nunes’ hastily produced Trump-exoneration report as proof that they did too believe that Russia had interfered in the 2016 election. This included some of the ugliest mansplaining of the entire inquiry, as one Republican after another thumped his chest and tutted over the ignorance of one of the nation’s top Russia experts.

But what Republicans did not say, and what Hill really meant, was that Donald Trump, William Barr, and every Republican on the committee are actively involved in an attempt to prove that Russia was not involved in 2016 election interference. Forget Nunes’ weak-tea report, because Republicans, Nunes included, are right now working to disprove that report themselves. What Hill was referring to was something that Trump discussed in his phone call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. 

Trump: I would like you to do us a favor though, because our country has been through a lot and Ukraine knows a lot about it. I would like you to find out what happened with this whole situation with Ukraine, they say Crowdstrike ... I guess you have one of your wealthy people... The server, they say Ukraine has it.

The CrowdStrike conspiracy theory, which Trump put forward in his phone call, and which Republicans have been explicitly supporting in their questioning and statements, explicitly exonerates Vladimir Putin and shifts the blame for hacking the DNC … to Hillary Clinton.

On Friday morning, Trump rolled through an extended rant on Fox News (50 minutes of uninterrupted, uncorrected rambling that is still underway as of the writing of this article). In the midst of this rant, he returned to the same conspiracy theory, saying, “They gave the server to CrowdStrike. Why did they give it to a Ukrainian company?”

First, no one gave anyone a server. There is no missing server, there never was a missing server, because there never was a physical server. Like those of many, many other companies and organizations, the DNC’s email service was hosted by a third party. Second, CrowdStrike is not a Ukrainian company. In fact, CrowdStrike Holdings, Inc. is an American cybersecurity technology company with its headquarters in Sunnyvale, California. It’s one of the best known cybersecurity firms in the nation, and worked on cases such as the theft of materials from Sony studios long before it was called on to look into the break-in to DNC materials. CrowdStrike has also frequently worked with the government, the United States government, including in 2014 when it helped compile a series of efforts by Chinese hackers attempting to break into U.S. corporations. When DNC officials realized that their emails had been compromised, and that materials may have been stolen, CrowdStrike was the logical choice to conduct a thorough investigation.

The only connection between CrowdStrike and Ukraine previous to the emergence of a conspiracy theory that began boiling through the alt-right even before the election appears to be a report produced by CrowdStrike showing that Russian hackers may have compromised a program that Ukraine uses to target artillery in its ongoing war with Russia.

But when Trump or others on the right mention CrowdStrike, they’re not talking about the American company that is still out there, still working with companies and governments on cybersecurity. They are referring to a conspiracy theory in which: Hillary Clinton contracted with Ukrainian agents to pretend to be Russian hackers; these fake Russians then pretended to break into DNC servers and steal materials; CrowdStrike was called to cover the tracks of the Ukrainians; and the whole server was whisked away to make sure no one ever detected the scheme.

There is no evidence to support this theory,” because the whole thing is utterly ridiculous from the outset. Not only would it require more cloak-and-dagger action than ever filled a spy novel;, not only does it completely contradict the actual physical situation that was investigated by the FBI, among others; but the whole premise requires that Hillary Clinton be perfectly willing to have every item of dirty laundry at the DNC fed to WikiLeaks … all to create a trap that would ensnare Donald Trump. Years later. After he won.

Trump wasn't asking for people to look into why someone wrote an op-ed he didn't like, or said something nasty on a Facebook page, or any of the other items that Devin Nunes ran through again and again. None of that was at all related to what Trump demanded.

What Trump demanded, as was made clear on his call to Zelensky, was that Ukraine lend credence to the Crowdstrike conspiracy theory. Not only did Trump make that demand, but Nunes and others have been attempting to support that claim during the hearings. And that is why Dr. Hill made her statement about Republicans not believing in Russian interference: They are actively working, right now, in concert with Trump, to “prove” that there was no Russian interference. They are no longer willing to admit even the things they admitted in that report they’re still waving around.

Every single time someone mentioned “investigating the 2016 election,” what they really meant was “exonerating Vladimir Putin and shifting the blame to Hillary Clinton.” And while it's understandable that no one wanted to use their five minutes to unwind this ridiculous "Hillary hacked herself and hid the server in Ukraine" theory that Attorney General William Barr is chasing around the world, not taking that time allowed Republicans to pretend that they’re not actively working to clear Russia as well as Trump. When they are. They really, really are.


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