Watch Stephen Colbert’s hilarious take on GOP’s latest impeachment fail

The Republican Party’s attempted impeachment fiasco and beleaguered House Speaker Mike Johnson were the subjects of late-night talk show host Stephen Colbert’s opening monologue Wednesday night. Colbert observed that while the House Republicans targeting Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas “never identified a specific high crime or misdemeanor for the impeachment, which is usually kind of a thing,” the event was still historic.

It's only the second time in America that a Cabinet member has been impeached. The first was Secretary of War William Belknap back in 1876, which Congress accused of ‘prostituting his high office to his lust for private gain.’ 

[In Trump voice singing Bette Midler song] Did you ever know that you're my hero …

Colbert then laid it on thick, claiming that his entire show would be dedicated to covering the Senate’s impeachment trial of Mayorkas, before someone off camera told him the Senate immediately voted to dismiss the articles of impeachment. 

“That was quick,” said a stunned Colbert. “So, what do you guys want to talk about?”

Colbert then pivoted to the precarious position GOP Speaker Mike Johnson finds himself in, even though “they just got rid of the last guy six months ago.”

Republican speaker of the House has joined the list of least secure jobs, just below No. 2 leader of ISIS; World's Oldest Man; and Rupert Murdoch fiancée.

Colbert: Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, seen here in his profile pic on

After playing a clip of Johnson telling Fox Business’ Maria Bartiromo that Trump is "100% with me," Colbert threw to a clip of Trump being asked whether he will support Johnson.

Trump: Well, we'll see what happens with that.

Colbert: That is a dose of classic Trump loyalty. He's got your back ... so he can push you under a bus.

Zachary Mueller is the senior research director for America’s Voice and America’s Voice Education Fund. He brings his expertise on immigration politics to talk about how much money the GOP is using to promote its racist immigration campaigns.

Republican gripes that Merrick Garland didn’t respond to his letter about ‘World Naked Bike Ride’

On Wednesday, Attorney General Merrick Garland was forced to participate in Jim Jordan’s clown show Judiciary Committee hearing. Democratic representatives at the House hearing used their time to righteously lambaste Jordan and his party’s abject hypocrisy. But even the truth could not inure America to the pitiable attempts at “gotcha” questions lobbed by Republicans like Rep. Tom Tiffany of Wisconsin.

Having asked Garland the hard-hitting question, “Do you support more crime?” (Garland said he did not), Tiffany decided to close his sad political performance with a gripe about something dead serious: The World Naked Bike Ride. Did I stutter?

He literally said, “There is a World Naked Bike Ride in Madison, Wisconsin,” and then proceeded to claim he had sent the Department of Justice a letter ”two months ago” concerning reports that a 10-year-old girl might have participated in the naked bike ride through Madison, Wisconsin. “Do you think that’s a problem? And why did you not answer our letter two months ago?”

Garland’s response is perfectly hilarious. “I'm sorry. I'll have to ask the Office of Legislative Affairs to get back to you about this.” Tee-hee.

RELATED STORY: Democrats pummel Republicans at Jim Jordan's circus hearing

Garland subsequently pointed out that what Tiffany was griping about seemed to be an issue for state and local law enforcement—which did investigate and found it was not illegal.

Maybe that’s why Tiffany, who is rumored to desire a shot at becoming one of his state’s two senators, doesn’t even want to vote for himself?

Sign the petition: No to shutdowns, no to Biden impeachment, no to Republicans

Hot takes pour in after McCarthy announces impeachment inquiry

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s announcement of an impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden isn’t surprising so much as it is depressingly predictable. The Republican Party’s inability to generate the tiniest shreds of evidence of wrongdoing on the part of the then-vice president regarding his son Hunter Biden’s business dealings has been a pathetic spectacle of political theater for just under a year. McCarthy’s impeachment inquiry was him bowing to the pressures from the “Freedom Caucus” wing of his party, but just a short while after his announcement, he was still roundly excoriated on the House floor by Rep. Matt Gaetz, who called McCarthy’s move a “baby step.”

Ian Sams, a White House spokesman, released a statement saying McCarthy’s new political move amounted to an “evidence-free goose chase.” That was the diplomatic reaction to what is clearly the naked abuse of government by conservative lawmakers. “The House Republicans’ investigations for the past 9 months have proved that — as their own witnesses testify the President hasn’t done anything wrong, and their own documents show no ties to the President.”

There are a lot of reactions, but first, let’s hear from legal scholar Elie Mystal:

Why would I write about House GOP's impeachment inquiry? I write about law and law adjacent issues. Not the inevitable result of Unfrozen Caveman Congresswoman having her hand so far up Kevin McCarthy's ass that she controls his vocal chords.

— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) September 12, 2023

RELATED STORY: McCarthy thinks impeachment inquiry rules should apply to everyone but him

Let us start with some criteria.

Any news organization that reports the news about McCarthy endorsing an impeachment inquiry without CLEARLY and AT THE TOP stating that there is no meaningful reason for such an inquiry is doing journalism wrong. Too many orgs already jumping into the gamesmanship.

— Garrett M. Graff (@vermontgmg) September 12, 2023

Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman gave this Halloween-style response to the news.

.@SenFettermanPA reacts to Speaker McCarthy moving forward with a House impeachment inquiry into POTUS… (Just watch)

— Liz Brown-Kaiser (@lizbrownkaiser) September 12, 2023

Rep. Ayanna Pressley called out the chaos of the Republican Party.

From sham impeachment inquiries to threats of government shutdown. Republicans continue to govern with chaos, cruelty, and callousness—and they are wasting our damn time.

— Ayanna Pressley (@AyannaPressley) September 12, 2023

As some people pointed out, McCarthy, like every single Republican in office, is an enormous hypocrite when it comes to just about anything he says or does.

Kevin McCarthy literally authored a resolution condemning Pelosi for launching impeachment without a vote. “this decision represents an abuse of power and brings discredit to the House”

— Sawyer Hackett (@SawyerHackett) September 12, 2023

Rep. Ted Lieu decided to give people some context.

Here are the three pieces of evidence that Speaker McCarthy has to open an impeachment inquiry on President Biden: 1. “ “ 2. “ “ 3. “ “

— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) September 12, 2023

What about the leader of the Senate Republicans, Mitch McConnell? Can you say, duck and run?

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell reacts to possible Biden impeachment inquiry: “I don’t have any advice to give to the House. They’ve got a totally different set of challenges … So I think the best advice for the Senate is to do our job and we’ll see how this plays out.”

— The Recount (@therecount) September 12, 2023

Sen. Majority Leader Chuck Schumer gave some advice to McCarthy on leadership.

“I have sympathy with Speaker McCarthy. He’s in a difficult position. But sometimes you’ve got to tell these people who are way off the deep end… that they can’t go forward with it.” — Senate Majority Leader Schumer reacts to “absurd” impeachment inquiry against President Biden

— The Recount (@therecount) September 12, 2023

Rep. Adam Schiff had some important constitutional information to impart.

McCarthy’s reading of the Impeachment Clause: The President shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or … when the Speaker, lacking moral authority or control over his members, can’t remain speaker or fund the government without it.

— Adam Schiff (@RepAdamSchiff) September 12, 2023

At least McCarthy can hang his hat on the idea that now that he’s given the so-called Freedom Caucus what they claim to have wanted, they will totally not try and shut down the government for no discernible reason.

McCarthy’s impeachment inquiry hasn’t swayed the Freedom Caucus towards funding the government

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 12, 2023


Why you never negotiate with terrorists, Exhibit 37,548

— Raymond J. Mollica (@RaymondMollica) September 12, 2023

Sign the petition: Denounce MAGA GOP's baseless impeachment inquiry against Biden

Gaetz attacks McCarthy in wild House speech

On Monday, Rep. Matt Gaetz announced plans to give a fiery speech on the House floor Tuesday to denounce the lack of political will to impeach President Joe Biden on zero evidence. The Florida man’s promised speech came after a week of public attacks on Republican Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy. But just hours before Gaetz’s speech, McCarthy announced that he was calling for an impeachment inquiry into the president.

Some might assume Gaetz was sufficiently undercut by McCarthy’s brief press conference. Some might be wrong. The political theater-loving looney toon took to the floor of the House and began by chastising the speaker for being “out of compliance with the agreement that allowed you to assume this role,” and threatening his party leader with expulsion from his leadership position.

I’m no Sherlock Holmes or anything, but it sounds a lot like the rumored “three-page deal”—the one between McCarthy and wackadoos like Gaetz in the Freedom Caucus that the Republican Party denied existed—might actually exist? But that was all preamble, as Gaetz proceeded to give a speech about the terrible job McCarthy is doing. It included him calling McCarthy’s press conference announcing the impeachment inquiry a “rushed” and “somewhat rattled performance.” Grab some popcorn!

RELATED STORY: GOP denials over ‘three-page addendum’ with McCarthy’s Freedom Caucus deals ring hollow

A couple of quick notes on Gaetz’s speech:

  • He said that his agenda is “the last, best hope for tens of millions of Republicans.” There were more than 158 million votes cast in the 2022 election. Just sayin’

  • Gaetz also said, “Mr. Speaker, dust off our written January agreement. You have a copy.” Paging Sherlock Holmes!

  • He accused the speaker of trying to build a “Biden/McCarthy/Jeffries” government. Teehee!

  • When Gaetz was done filling the House chamber with hot air, the chair made an announcement reminding representatives to “direct your remarks to the chair and not to a perceived viewing audience.”

Transcript has been lightly edited for clarity:

REP. MATT GAETZ: On this very floor in January, the whole world witnessed a historic contest for House Speaker. I rise today to serve notice, Mr. Speaker, you are out of compliance with the agreement that allowed you to assume this role. The path forward for the House of Representatives is to either bring you into immediate, total compliance or remove you pursuant to a motion to vacate the chair.

We have had no vote on term limits or on balanced budgets as the agreement demanded and required. There has been no full release of the January 6 tapes, as you promised. There has been insufficient accountability for the Biden crime family, and instead of cutting spending to raise the debt limit, you relied on budgetary gimmicks and rescissions, so that you ultimately ended up serving as the valet to underwrite Biden's debt and advance his spending agenda.

Mr. Speaker, you boasted in January that we would use “the power of the subpoena and the power of the purse,” but here we are eight months later, and we haven't even sent the first subpoena to Hunter Biden. That's how you know that the rushed and, you know, somewhat rattled performance you just saw from the speaker isn't real at this point.

During Democratic control over the House of Representatives, they had already brought in Don Junior three times, and we haven't even sent the first subpoena to Hunter Biden. Power of the subpoena and power of the purse. Only thing the 118th Congress is known for at this point is electing Kevin McCarthy speaker and underwriting Biden's debt, and unfortunately there's only one of those things we can remediate at this time.

Power of the purse. Our leadership right now is asking us to vote for a continuing resolution. A vote for a continuing resolution is a vote to continue the Green New Deal. A vote to continue inflationary spending. And in the most troubling of fashions, a vote for a continuing resolution is a vote to continue the election interference of Jack Smith.

Mr. Speaker, we told you how to use the power of the purse. Individual single-subject spending bills that would allow us to have specific review, programmatic analysis, and it would allow us to zero out the salaries of the bureaucrats who have broken bad, targeted President Trump, or cut sweetheart deals for Hunter Biden. September 30th is rapidly approaching, and you have not put us in a position to succeed.

There is no way to pass all the individual appropriations bills now. And it's not like we didn't know when September 30th was going to show up on the calendar. I must be better. You must be better and this House must be better, for it is the last, best hope for tens of millions of Republicans. We demand real oversight against this weaponized government.

Just look at the bribery. If tens of millions of dollars flowing from foreign corrupt people into the bank accounts of the Biden family wasn't enough for actual impeachment, why were we even looking? Joe Biden deserves impeachment for converting the vice presidency into an ATM machine for virtually his entire family. We all see it. We all know it. Now, moments ago, Speaker McCarthy endorsed an impeachment inquiry.

This is a baby step following weeks of pressure from House conservatives to do more. We must move faster. Now, I will concede that the votes I have called for will likely fail. Term limits, balanced budgets, maybe even impeachment. I am prepared for that eventuality because at least if we take votes, the American people get to see who's fighting for them and who's willing to tolerate more corruption and business as usual.

Mr. Speaker, dust off our written January agreement. You have a copy. Reflect on the spirit of that agreement and build on the start that we had moments ago began to comply. No continuing resolutions, individual spending bills or bust, votes on balanced budgets and term limits. Subpoenas for Hunter Biden and the members of the Biden family who've been grifting off of this country, and the impeachment for Joe Biden that he so richly deserves.

Do these things or face a motion to vacate the chair. And let me alert the country: A motion to vacate might not pass at first, but it might before the 15th vote. And if Democrats bail out McCarthy, as they may do, then I will lead the resistance to this uni-party and the Biden/McCarthy/Jeffries government that they are attempting to build.

I know that Washington isn't a town where people are known for keeping their word. Well, Speaker McCarthy, I'm here to hold you to yours. I yield back.

Those on the other side of the aisle are understandably baffled.

So let me get this straight: Republicans are threatening to remove their own Speaker, impeach the President, and shut down the government on September 30th - disrupting everyday people’s paychecks and general public operations. For what? I don’t think even they know. Chaos vibes

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) September 12, 2023

Why does it seem like Republicans have such a hard time recruiting Senate candidates who actually live in the states they want to run in? We're discussing this strange but persistent phenomenon on this week's edition of "The Downballot." The latest example is former Michigan Rep. Mike Rogers, who's been spending his time in Florida since leaving the House in 2015, but he's not the only one. Republican Senate hopefuls in Pennsylvania, Nevada, Montana, and Wisconsin all have questionable ties to their home states—a problem that Democrats have gleefully exploited in recent years. (Remember Dr. Oz? Of course you do.)

Glenn Beck announces he has COVID-19 while doing commercials for diet bars

Remember Glenn Beck? He’s still around and he’s still doing what he’s always done: grifting away. His modern look includes spectacles and a sort of Kentucky Fried Chicken Colonel Sanders look. Surprising no one, Beck’s evidence-free conspiracy theory stylings, now common on the right, are focused on all of the same tropes of misinformation, disinformation, and anti-vaxxer clickbait that allows for making money on his BlazeTV network.

Wednesday night, on the eve of the one-year anniversary of the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol by MAGA supporters hoping to install a dictator into the office of president, Glenn Beck released a video of his previously recorded interview with Donald Trump. Beck boasted of traveling down to Mar-a-Lago to talk with Trump about all the ways President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are trying to steal your freedoms. Also, Speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to steal your penis or something. 

But guess who opened his special interview with the announcement that he has “been diagnosed” with COVID? Glenn Beck did, silly billy. No worries—the grift must go on and Glenn used his COVID diagnosis as a jumping off point to … hawk things during commercial breaks.

Beck, looking very red and like he was about to burst, told his audience that he was at home quarantining, but that you needed to watch his interview with Trump, as liberals want you to worry about the Jan. 6 attempted coup because they don’t want you to know about the gospel of Trump. Then came the first segment: 

  • Trump says something about how wind power and solar power are terrible because you have to update your windmills and solar panels every three decades or something
  • Says we are standing on “liquid gold,” and the push away from fossil fuels is all a part of China’s plan to win.
  • Glenn Beck tells Trump that Putin respects him but doesn’t respect Biden.
  • Oh, liberals are worried about Jan. 6 because they are “scare-mongerers”

Then a quick commercial break to try and scare you into buying a home security system because “your home may not be a secure as you think.” One person you shouldn’t let into your home now? Glenn Beck, who is selling you this as he sits in his home with a positive COVID-19 diagnosis.

Back to the show:

  • Business is being killed by “the mandates.” You should get vaccinated, or not, if you don’t want to, it’s up to you. Business!
  • Dr. Fauci is the new president of the United States. Donald Trump didn’t do most of what Fauci suggested. [Side note: Dr. Fauci was suggesting things to Trump back in January 2020. Looks at watch? Two years later. Excellent job.]

Quick commercial to tell you that “I think it is critically important that you get your finances in order.” You’re telling me. Back to the show!

Joe Biden is trying to pit our children against each other and throw parents in trouble.

We need to abolish public schools and let states decide what students should learn about our country’s history.

Something something “cancel culture.”

Time for a commercial! Beck has COVID-19, in fact he doesn’t have much of an appetite and he had just started a diet. You know what’s saving his life? Diet bars. You know what else? You can buy them by way of Glenn Beck’s diet bar commercial. Back to the show!

  • Trump got 100% of the vote (on something).
  • The impeachment was a “hoax.”
  • Blah blah blah, witch trials.
  • Our army is run by “television generals”
  • Glenn Beck doesn’t “know” if he can tell his son to go into the military these days.

A quick reminder: Glenn Beck was promoting violence in the name of American fascism against other Americans, long before Donald Trump hit the scene. You don’t have to watch the interview, but if you want to see Glenn Beck hawk products ...

Newsmax host draws mockery after he makes scene at McDonald’s and they called him a ‘male Karen’

Newsmax is to Fox News what movie theater pre-movie advertisements are to the movies being shown: inexplicably 10 to 15 years behind in the graphics department and production. Greg Kelly is one of the hosts of one of the shows that interview people like Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene and pretend she isn’t completely out to lunch in her ideas. But this morning Kelly’s got a gripe. It turns out that he claims to have gone to a McDonald’d and could not find a “MCFISH” on the menu. When he freaked out about this and “demanded to see the ‘manager,’” he says he was called a “MALE KAREN.” Are you confused? Here’s his exact tweet, verbatim, with all of his typing and spelling and factual errors, which he presented with a photo of the establishment he was railing against.

I just went to a MACDONALD’S and there was no MCFISH on the menu. When the hell did that happen? Is it permanently banned? Or is just my “local” MACDONALD’S. I demanded to see the “manager” but they accused me of being a “MALE KAREN” so i walked out.

Before we get into the fact that there is no such thing as a MCFISH sandwich, and in fact never has been; before we get into the fact that he misspelled a proper noun in a tweet—even though he also included a picture of the correct spelling of that proper noun—and before we wonder aloud about why he put the word “local” in quotation marks; let us all remember this Kurt Vonnegut quote: “Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.” Twitter responded to this tweet to bring us all joy over the little things about Greg Kelly, male Karen.

First off, let’s just point out some of the glaring problems with this tweet.

Impressive. You both spelled McDonald's wrong and also complained about not getting a product... that doesn't exist.

— Daniel Wexler (@WexlerRules) February 4, 2021

I just... like... THE PICTURE OF THE RESTAURANT SPELLED PROPERLY IS IN THE TWEET! And, even though he doesn't know it's called "Filet-o-Fish"... he intuitively thinks it should be called "McFish" not "MACFish" ... AND YET HE STILL DOESN'T GET THE NAME OF THE CHAIN RIGHT?

— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) February 4, 2021

And there are questions to be answered by fake news host Kelly.

Things that never happened, for $100 Alex (RIP)

— Rich Swinton 🇺🇸 (@RicoSuaveJD) February 4, 2021

And some punch-up.

I just went to a WENDIES and there was no BACON DELIGHT on the menu. When the hell did that happen? Is it permanently banned? Or is just my “local” WENDIES. I demanded to see the “manager” but they accused me of being a “MALE KAREN” so i walked out.

— Twice-Impeached, One-Term Trumpy (parody) (@outofcontroljb) February 4, 2021

I went to BURGER KANG once & the WHIPPER wasn't on the "menu" so I was like dudes what the "fuck" where is my WHIPPER but then they called me a "MAN HALLUCINATING IN A BURGER KANG" so I walked out and what day is it now?

— Mark Hughes (@markhughesfilms) February 4, 2021

And a throwback to a movie that will soon have a sequel.

I just went to a MCDOWELL’S and there was no BIG MAC on the menu. When the hell did that happen? Is it permanently banned? Or is just my “local” MCDOWELL’S. I demanded to see the “manager” but they accused me of being a “DISEASED RHINOCEROS PIZZLE” so I walked out.

— Santa Claus, CEO (@SantaInc) February 4, 2021

And a refresher.

top 5 things here: 5. MCFISH (it's fillet-o-fish, dude) 4. MACDONALDS (, bro) 3. MALE KAREN 2. 9:58 AM 1. """""manager""""""

— Erikk (@erikk38) February 4, 2021

But what about Newsmax?

I can see why Newsmax gave you your own “show.”

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) February 4, 2021

Watch this ‘Daily Show’ truck blast clips of Trump mocking senators in downtown Washington D.C.

Donald Trump has a long history of insulting people, including senators. Unsurprisingly, he has no problem insulting progressives, like calling Sen. Bernie Sanders “crazy” and Sen. Elizabeth Warren “Pochahontas.” He’s also insulted a number of Republicans, including saying that Sen. Mitt Romney is “not a smart person,” and of course, dubbing Sen. Ted Cruz “Lyin’ Ted.” Now, The Daily Show has compiled clips of these insults into a loop video that’s playing on the side of a truck that’s bopping around Washington D.C. during his impeachment trial, as reported by the Washingtonian. Because this video focuses on senators, we don’t even need to get into all of the times he has insulted women, including Hillary Clinton.

Here is the original video.


Here is what The Daily Show truck driving around downtown Washington D.C. looks like.


The Washingtonian reports that The Daily Show has been airing 30- and 60-second versions of this video on local news channels in D.C. The publication says the truck has been on the move in the Capitol since Monday.

“We’re trying to always think of ways to take jokes that we have and take them outside the boundaries of 11:00 to 11:30. Like, how can we exist in the real world? How can we get closer to the people that we’re covering?” Ramin Hedayati, a producer at The Daily Show, told the Washingtonian in an interview. “Literally driving a truck outside of the building they’re in is a way to do that.”

Of course, it’s far from the first time The Daily Show has taken the Trump administration to task. On Monday, host Trevor Noah called out Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham, as well as Trump’s defense lawyers.

Trump attacks everyone from government officials to private citizens seemingly with little regard to the possible consequences. People say that actions speak louder than words, but with Trump, his words and actions actually line up pretty well—and it’s nothing good.

Tennessee senator tries to burn Adam Schiff, but Twitter roasts her almost instantly

Sen. Marsha Blackburn is well-known around these here parts for being a pretty detestable human being. Then again, detestability seems to be the only qualification for being a Republican senator these days. And Blackburn has indeed been doing her job as a Republican senator: groveling at the feet of Donald Trump while dismantling our democratic processes. 

As Donald Trump’s impeachment trial goes into another day, Republicans in the Senate are spending their time not paying attention with the deck already loaded, the fix already in. But having all of this obdurate criminality in place does not stop Republicans like Marsha Blackburn from being dumb as dirt. The senator from Tennessee decided to go and give her two cents, in a classic Republican attempt at gotcha-style politics:


Sorry! I should have warned you that your mind might be blown clear from your skull by Blackburn’s wit and wisdom. The Twitterverse very quickly realized that Marsha Blackburn had said something—something too stupid and unbelievably hubristic to let lie.


But people were also pissed.


Damn. “Guttersnipe” sounds awful.



And it didn’t stop. In fact, the ratio just took off on Sen. Blackburn



Some literature for Blackburn to read while she doesn’t fulfill her sworn oath on the Senate floor:


And some more reminders:


Before you knew it, #Marsha was trending. And not because The Brady Bunch is getting a reboot.


That Tweet is to remind people that Sen. Marsha Blackburn is trash.


And finally: