Glenn Beck announces he has COVID-19 while doing commercials for diet bars

Remember Glenn Beck? He’s still around and he’s still doing what he’s always done: grifting away. His modern look includes spectacles and a sort of Kentucky Fried Chicken Colonel Sanders look. Surprising no one, Beck’s evidence-free conspiracy theory stylings, now common on the right, are focused on all of the same tropes of misinformation, disinformation, and anti-vaxxer clickbait that allows for making money on his BlazeTV network.

Wednesday night, on the eve of the one-year anniversary of the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol by MAGA supporters hoping to install a dictator into the office of president, Glenn Beck released a video of his previously recorded interview with Donald Trump. Beck boasted of traveling down to Mar-a-Lago to talk with Trump about all the ways President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are trying to steal your freedoms. Also, Speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to steal your penis or something. 

But guess who opened his special interview with the announcement that he has “been diagnosed” with COVID? Glenn Beck did, silly billy. No worries—the grift must go on and Glenn used his COVID diagnosis as a jumping off point to … hawk things during commercial breaks.

Beck, looking very red and like he was about to burst, told his audience that he was at home quarantining, but that you needed to watch his interview with Trump, as liberals want you to worry about the Jan. 6 attempted coup because they don’t want you to know about the gospel of Trump. Then came the first segment: 

  • Trump says something about how wind power and solar power are terrible because you have to update your windmills and solar panels every three decades or something
  • Says we are standing on “liquid gold,” and the push away from fossil fuels is all a part of China’s plan to win.
  • Glenn Beck tells Trump that Putin respects him but doesn’t respect Biden.
  • Oh, liberals are worried about Jan. 6 because they are “scare-mongerers”

Then a quick commercial break to try and scare you into buying a home security system because “your home may not be a secure as you think.” One person you shouldn’t let into your home now? Glenn Beck, who is selling you this as he sits in his home with a positive COVID-19 diagnosis.

Back to the show:

  • Business is being killed by “the mandates.” You should get vaccinated, or not, if you don’t want to, it’s up to you. Business!
  • Dr. Fauci is the new president of the United States. Donald Trump didn’t do most of what Fauci suggested. [Side note: Dr. Fauci was suggesting things to Trump back in January 2020. Looks at watch? Two years later. Excellent job.]

Quick commercial to tell you that “I think it is critically important that you get your finances in order.” You’re telling me. Back to the show!

Joe Biden is trying to pit our children against each other and throw parents in trouble.

We need to abolish public schools and let states decide what students should learn about our country’s history.

Something something “cancel culture.”

Time for a commercial! Beck has COVID-19, in fact he doesn’t have much of an appetite and he had just started a diet. You know what’s saving his life? Diet bars. You know what else? You can buy them by way of Glenn Beck’s diet bar commercial. Back to the show!

  • Trump got 100% of the vote (on something).
  • The impeachment was a “hoax.”
  • Blah blah blah, witch trials.
  • Our army is run by “television generals”
  • Glenn Beck doesn’t “know” if he can tell his son to go into the military these days.

A quick reminder: Glenn Beck was promoting violence in the name of American fascism against other Americans, long before Donald Trump hit the scene. You don’t have to watch the interview, but if you want to see Glenn Beck hawk products ...

Newsmax host draws mockery after he makes scene at McDonald’s and they called him a ‘male Karen’

Newsmax is to Fox News what movie theater pre-movie advertisements are to the movies being shown: inexplicably 10 to 15 years behind in the graphics department and production. Greg Kelly is one of the hosts of one of the shows that interview people like Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene and pretend she isn’t completely out to lunch in her ideas. But this morning Kelly’s got a gripe. It turns out that he claims to have gone to a McDonald’d and could not find a “MCFISH” on the menu. When he freaked out about this and “demanded to see the ‘manager,’” he says he was called a “MALE KAREN.” Are you confused? Here’s his exact tweet, verbatim, with all of his typing and spelling and factual errors, which he presented with a photo of the establishment he was railing against.

I just went to a MACDONALD’S and there was no MCFISH on the menu. When the hell did that happen? Is it permanently banned? Or is just my “local” MACDONALD’S. I demanded to see the “manager” but they accused me of being a “MALE KAREN” so i walked out.

Before we get into the fact that there is no such thing as a MCFISH sandwich, and in fact never has been; before we get into the fact that he misspelled a proper noun in a tweet—even though he also included a picture of the correct spelling of that proper noun—and before we wonder aloud about why he put the word “local” in quotation marks; let us all remember this Kurt Vonnegut quote: “Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.” Twitter responded to this tweet to bring us all joy over the little things about Greg Kelly, male Karen.

First off, let’s just point out some of the glaring problems with this tweet.

Impressive. You both spelled McDonald's wrong and also complained about not getting a product... that doesn't exist. pic.twitter.com/uex6n37r0q

— Daniel Wexler (@WexlerRules) February 4, 2021

I just... like... THE PICTURE OF THE RESTAURANT SPELLED PROPERLY IS IN THE TWEET! And, even though he doesn't know it's called "Filet-o-Fish"... he intuitively thinks it should be called "McFish" not "MACFish" ... AND YET HE STILL DOESN'T GET THE NAME OF THE CHAIN RIGHT? https://t.co/sLTFvSsEax

— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) February 4, 2021

And there are questions to be answered by fake news host Kelly.

Things that never happened, for $100 Alex (RIP)

— Rich Swinton 🇺🇸 (@RicoSuaveJD) February 4, 2021

And some punch-up.

I just went to a WENDIES and there was no BACON DELIGHT on the menu. When the hell did that happen? Is it permanently banned? Or is just my “local” WENDIES. I demanded to see the “manager” but they accused me of being a “MALE KAREN” so i walked out. pic.twitter.com/UTtobEB35s

— Twice-Impeached, One-Term Trumpy (parody) (@outofcontroljb) February 4, 2021

I went to BURGER KANG once & the WHIPPER wasn't on the "menu" so I was like dudes what the "fuck" where is my WHIPPER but then they called me a "MAN HALLUCINATING IN A BURGER KANG" so I walked out and what day is it now?

— Mark Hughes (@markhughesfilms) February 4, 2021

And a throwback to a movie that will soon have a sequel.

I just went to a MCDOWELL’S and there was no BIG MAC on the menu. When the hell did that happen? Is it permanently banned? Or is just my “local” MCDOWELL’S. I demanded to see the “manager” but they accused me of being a “DISEASED RHINOCEROS PIZZLE” so I walked out. pic.twitter.com/ypKsmJJ9te

— Santa Claus, CEO (@SantaInc) February 4, 2021

And a refresher.

top 5 things here: 5. MCFISH (it's fillet-o-fish, dude) 4. MACDONALDS (...like, bro) 3. MALE KAREN 2. 9:58 AM 1. """""manager""""""

— Erikk (@erikk38) February 4, 2021

But what about Newsmax?

I can see why Newsmax gave you your own “show.” https://t.co/se20sHpPwE

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) February 4, 2021

Watch this ‘Daily Show’ truck blast clips of Trump mocking senators in downtown Washington D.C.

Donald Trump has a long history of insulting people, including senators. Unsurprisingly, he has no problem insulting progressives, like calling Sen. Bernie Sanders “crazy” and Sen. Elizabeth Warren “Pochahontas.” He’s also insulted a number of Republicans, including saying that Sen. Mitt Romney is “not a smart person,” and of course, dubbing Sen. Ted Cruz “Lyin’ Ted.” Now, The Daily Show has compiled clips of these insults into a loop video that’s playing on the side of a truck that’s bopping around Washington D.C. during his impeachment trial, as reported by the Washingtonian. Because this video focuses on senators, we don’t even need to get into all of the times he has insulted women, including Hillary Clinton.

Here is the original video.

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Here is what The Daily Show truck driving around downtown Washington D.C. looks like.

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The Washingtonian reports that The Daily Show has been airing 30- and 60-second versions of this video on local news channels in D.C. The publication says the truck has been on the move in the Capitol since Monday.

“We’re trying to always think of ways to take jokes that we have and take them outside the boundaries of 11:00 to 11:30. Like, how can we exist in the real world? How can we get closer to the people that we’re covering?” Ramin Hedayati, a producer at The Daily Show, told the Washingtonian in an interview. “Literally driving a truck outside of the building they’re in is a way to do that.”

Of course, it’s far from the first time The Daily Show has taken the Trump administration to task. On Monday, host Trevor Noah called out Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham, as well as Trump’s defense lawyers.

Trump attacks everyone from government officials to private citizens seemingly with little regard to the possible consequences. People say that actions speak louder than words, but with Trump, his words and actions actually line up pretty well—and it’s nothing good.

Tennessee senator tries to burn Adam Schiff, but Twitter roasts her almost instantly

Sen. Marsha Blackburn is well-known around these here parts for being a pretty detestable human being. Then again, detestability seems to be the only qualification for being a Republican senator these days. And Blackburn has indeed been doing her job as a Republican senator: groveling at the feet of Donald Trump while dismantling our democratic processes. 

As Donald Trump’s impeachment trial goes into another day, Republicans in the Senate are spending their time not paying attention with the deck already loaded, the fix already in. But having all of this obdurate criminality in place does not stop Republicans like Marsha Blackburn from being dumb as dirt. The senator from Tennessee decided to go and give her two cents, in a classic Republican attempt at gotcha-style politics:

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Sorry! I should have warned you that your mind might be blown clear from your skull by Blackburn’s wit and wisdom. The Twitterverse very quickly realized that Marsha Blackburn had said something—something too stupid and unbelievably hubristic to let lie.

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But people were also pissed.

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Damn. “Guttersnipe” sounds awful.

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And it didn’t stop. In fact, the ratio just took off on Sen. Blackburn

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Some literature for Blackburn to read while she doesn’t fulfill her sworn oath on the Senate floor:

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And some more reminders:

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Before you knew it, #Marsha was trending. And not because The Brady Bunch is getting a reboot.

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That Tweet is to remind people that Sen. Marsha Blackburn is trash.

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And finally:

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