Expected 3rd quarter economic growth, according to the average estimates by Bank of America, Goldman Sachs, and the Atlanta Fed: 3.1%
Rank of Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama among states with the top homicide rates: #1, #2, #3
Percent by which Florida's murder rate was higher than New York's in 2021, according to The New York Times: 50%
Cases of Covid-19 reported daily in Maine in, respectively, July and August: 20-50, 50-150
Age of former Governor/diplomat Bill Richardson (D-NM) and singer/entrepreneur Jimmy Buffett (D-Margaritaville) when they died over the weekend: 75, 76
CHEERS to jobs, jobs, jobs. It wasn't the blockbuster employment report of the previous month, when 5.3 billion jobs were created across seven solar systems and the unemployment rate hit -49%. (Dammit, Dark Brandon, you've gotta learn to pace yourself.) But still, not bad. 178,000 new jobs, unemployment rate steady at 3.8 percent. Some added details from Sir Billy McBride at Calculated Risk:
The headline monthly jobs number was at consensus expectations; however, June and July payrolls were revised down by 110,000 combined. The unemployment rate increased as more people joined the labor force.
Job growth has slowed to a somewhat more normal pace, up at a 2.3 million annual rate over the last 6 months.
Job creation since 1989. But brainwashed Americans still give the credit to Republicans.
The 25 to 54 participation rate increased in August to 83.5% from 83.4% in July, and the 25 to 54 employment population ratio was unchanged at 80.9% from 80.9% the previous month. Both are above the pre-pandemic levels and suggest all of the prime age workers have returned to the labor force.
Ugh. I'm so bored with all the winning. [Insert 5,000 smiley emojis and 1 American flag emoji here.]
CHEERS to putting on your best frowny face and getting down to business. Two more signs that summer vacation season has ended and folks are heading back to work: Congress is back in session this week and day cares are open again. There will be lots of crying and stamping of feet and screams of "Mine Mine Mine!" as a room full of whiny brats hurls childish insults and feasts on paste and magic marker fumes. And I bet the toddlers at daycare will be just as bad.
CHEERS to winning a war on terrorism. On September 5, 1996, Muslim extremist Ramzi Yousef and two other thugs who masterminded the 1993 World Trade Center bombing (and planned to blow up some U.S. airliners), were sent to tiny, windowless cells for the rest of eternity. But...but...how could that be? I mean, using law-enforcement to crack the case and arrest the evildoers instead of using bunker busters and declaring World War III and opening a gulag at Gitmo for enemy combatants? I gotta lie down...this is blowing my tiny chickenhawk mind.
CHEERS to far-from-conventional conventions. 249 years ago today, back yonder in 1774, the First Continental Congress assembled at Carpenters' Hall in Philadelphia to push back against the monarchy of a mad narcissist:
It was held because the colonists were very upset about the Intolerable Acts and the taxes. The Intolerable Acts were punishments that King George III put on the colonies. He put them on so the colonists would feel sorry about dumping tea into Boston Harbor during the Boston Tea Party.
Of course, the opposite happened. We got royally pissed, revolted, formed our own country, and then thrived and prospered until we started coming apart at the seams and heading down the path to becoming a monarchy led by a mad narcissist thanks to the efforts of...the Tea Party. Oh George, you sneaky bastard.
JEERS to the dick in the dock. All eyes are on the apocalyptic hellscape (and producer of fine barbeque) known as Texas today as an impeachment trial gets underway that no one thought would actually happen. The now-suspended Attorney General with a Bond villain's lazy eye (and he'd like it back, please), Ken Paxton—under indictment since the 1940s, or so it seems—is facing members of his own party in the state legislature. Many of them want him gone because he's—get this—giving them a bad name:
Paxton, the state’s chief law enforcement officer, is alleged to have taken bribes and abused his office to help a pal and campaign donor, a flashy Austin real estate mogul named Nate Paul. Since then, Paxton has been suspended from office. If two thirds of the voting members of the Texas Senate find him guilty of any of the charges—they will consider sixteen of the twenty the House brought—he will be permanently removed from office.
Ken Paxton
In Texas, the case reflects the splintering of the Republican Party, with the far right, funded by the likes of [billionaire mega-donor Tim] Dunn and fellow oilman Farris Wilks, increasingly at odds with more-centrist conservatives funded by figures such as Houston billionaire Dick Weekley [Editor’s Note: Ha Ha Ha Ha he said Dick Weekley!!!! ] and his influential political action committee Texans for Lawsuit Reform.
Basically it's a battle of wacko billionaires versus slightly-less-wacko billionaires. The winner gets 50 percent off the purchase of candidate of their choice.
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 5, 2013
JEERS to America the Wide-Eyed. Pretty shocking statistic: every night nine million Americans gobble sleeping pills to help them feel drowsy enough to fall asleep. And for hardcore insomniacs, doctors recommend watching old Romney campaign videos. (Side effects may include anxiety, confusion, nausea, vomiting, retroactive retirement, craving for cheesy grits, an unhealthy fixation on the height of trees, greed, cluelessness, polysyllabic tendencies, and pathological lying. But, man, will you sleep.)
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And just one more…
CHEERS to yankin' 'n bankin'. The NSA has been keeping a close eye (and ear) on the Tooth Fairy, given her socialist/communist tendency to buy off children's' loyalty with free money in exchange for little more than nuggets of calcium and enamel. They've tabulated what kids get when they lose a tooth, and these days the Tooth Fairy leaves just a tad over six bucks. Meanwhile, when an adult loses a tooth the dentist leaves a bill just a tad over six Mercedes payments.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
It's always important to stay hydrated. After all, more than half of the human body is made of Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool water.
I've cleared it with DK, Inc.—aka the sprawling industry known as Big Kos—to make tonight's C&J a rare front-page event known as "Ask Me Anything."
I assure you I'm highly unprepared to unleash a mighty trickle of knowledge and wisdom upon you by answering any questions you might have about anything. Home repair, food, relationships, going Galt, mutant creatures living under your house, blogger etiquette, molecular biology, THE LAW...I know almost everything about making stuff up about anything, and tonight I'm willing to prove it. One small caveat: I don't know a thing about what's going on at this web site.
Keep in mind that the longer the evening wears on, the less coherent my answers will be. So please allow those with urgent medical needs and/or dinner plans to go first. Thank you.
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, September 1, 2023
Note: Just a heads-up—there will be no C&J on Labor Day, so you'll have to cobble your own together out of Spam, discarded top-secret documents, and tinfoil. Please submit complaints to the proper authorities. Or just think them in your head and the NSA will use the latest wireless nanobot technology to transmit them to the proper authorities free of charge, minus a small $500 courtesy fee. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
6 days!!!
Days 'til the impeachment hearings against suspended TX Attorney General Ken Paxton begin: 4
Estimated number of Americans on Medicare who will save roughly $500 or more a year thanks to the $35 insulin cap: 1.5 million
Number of Americans on the Obamacare exchanges who are saving around $800 a year thanks to tax subsidies in Joe Biden's Inflation Reduction Act: 13 million
Date of the first Labor Day holiday in the U.S.: 9/5/1882
Age group for which union membership is highest:45-54
Percent of Americans who say they plan to BBQ this weekend: 61%
CHEERS to September. Hold on to your corsets and your straw hats, this month is busy busy, busy. A day after we pack away our whites on Labor Day, Congress straggles back to work just in time for Republicans to shut the place down in a hissy fit over the budget. (Though somehow they'll manage to squeeze in an impeachment inquiry over Joe Biden's inexcusable crime of being competent.)
Also: This pudding-brain domestic terrorist gets sentenced Tuesday.
The kids—aka cannon fodder for lunatics with unfettered access to guns—are back in school and, for reasons no one can explain, they're not allowed to say "gay" or read books. It's also Hunger Action Month, Cat Month, Suicide Prevention Month, Sewing Month, and Let's Watch Putin Step On More Garden Rakes In Ukraine Month. Speaking of stepping on rakes, the 45th president and his co-conspirators will continue denying any wrongdoing as they juggle court dates and, like all innocent Americans, call for their followers to launch Civil War 2.0 which they will armchair-quarterback via social media from the Jacuzzis in their gated pleasure compounds.
The 9/11 terrorist attacks that Bush II could’ve prevented if he’d read his PDBs turns 22. (Kids, ask your parents.) Shoppers jam online stores looking for the perfect Autumnal Equinox and Mexican Independence Day gifts. ("A pair of socks? You shouldn’t have.") New England gets insanely beautiful as summer turns to fall. Rosh Hashanah starts on the 15th and Yom Kippur on the 24th. A full harvest moon happens on the 29th, but not before the OSIRIS-REx mission returns samples from asteroid Bennu on the 24th. (Spoiler alert: it’s just candy corn.) But no Emmy Awards this month because of the various ongoing strikes. Oh, and this is fun: we've just concluded our second full year since 2001 when we haven’t been at war. (But if you keep giving us side-eye like that, France, we’re comin’ for ya.)
CHEERS to the workin' stiffs. Monday is Labor Day, and the fine folks at CNBC got all you barge-toters and bale-lifters something nice to mark the occasion: good news about how the labor movement is back on the march and making a comeback. The upshot:
Emboldened in the wake of shifting job security and grueling conditions during the Covid-19 pandemic, skyrocketing company profits, inflation, a decades-high approval rating for labor unions and growing disparity between worker pay and executive compensation, more workers across industries have taken a hard stance against companies for dramatic improvements in compensation and working conditions. […]
Bingo.
More than 320,000 workers have participated in at least 230 strikes so far this year, according to data from the Cornell University School of Industrial and Labor Relations. That’s already higher than the roughly 224,000 workers who participated in roughly 420 strikes in 2022, due in large part to tens of thousands of striking workers with the Screen Actors Guild–American Federation of Television and Radio Artists and Writers Guild of America. […]
The actions have led to more organizing efforts and greater support by Americans for organized labor. Gallup reports 71% of Americans approved of labor unions in 2022—the highest since 1965.
And to all the right-wing crabbypantses who deride unions but belong to them anyway and love the benefits they get from them (though they’ll never admit it): you're welcome.
JEERS to the War to End All Wars to End All Wars. 84 years ago today, on September 1, 1939, Hitler invaded Poland and started World War II. The U.S. wouldn’t officially enter the fray for another two years, but when we did we kicked Fuhrer butt. Today we salute all our veterans who fought the real Axis of Evil...and also a special Luftwaffe vet who unwittingly helped shorten the war by months:
CHEERS to the happiest ending...evuh! On Sunday’s date in 1783, our War of Independence ended when a treaty was signed by Great Britain and the United States:
It was signed in Paris by Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and John Jay.
Actual pen used to sign the treaty.
Under the terms of the treaty, Britain recognized the independent nation of the United States of America.
Britain agreed to remove all of its troops from the new nation. The treaty also set new borders for the United States, including all land from the Great Lakes on the north to Florida on the south, and from the Atlantic Ocean to the Mississippi River. ...The United States also agreed not to persecute loyalists still in America and allow those that left America to return.
Afterward, the founding fathers got together in a circle, held hands, and recited the Pledge of Allegiance. And then Jesus rode in on a dinosaur with news he had just finished digging the Grand Canyon. The things you learn on Conservapedia these days…
CHEERS to home vegetation. Now that September is here and Maine is snowed in until next June (28 inches last night!), the TV is in complete control of our lives.
Tonight on Star Trek (H&I Network, 8ET), Ron Howard’s brother terrorizes the Enterprise crew. Join the live-tweeting at #allstartrek.
Unfortunately there's not much on this weekend, now that the 24-hour Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon has been ripped from the fabric of society like a strip of cheap Velcro. (When I worked at a Saginaw, Michigan radio station in the late 80s, we always volunteered to helm the MDA phones at night, and it was a little eerie doing it in a huge empty mall at 2am. They sprung for some good chow, though. But the zombies were obnoxious.)
The most popular movies and streamers home videos, new and old, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. You can check out the WNBA schedule here, while the baseball lineup is here, starring the Boston Red Sox who have won so many World Series that everyone has lost count, believe me.
On 60 Minutes: U.S. and EU investigators go after evil Russian oligarchs in Cyprus, and a profile of artist Jeff Koons. Other than that, the TV sphere is a barren wasteland and if you choose to wade into it, may god help you. Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo; Gov. Chris Sununu (MAGA-NH).
Also: the Vidalia Rhythm Cloggers will dazzle and delight you Sunday morning on “State of the Onion.”
CNN's State of the Union: Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo; Sen. Mike Rounds (MAGA-SD).
This Week: Senator Tim Kaine (D-VA); profoundly damaged grifter and not-gonna-be-president Vivek Ramaswamy (MAGA).
Face the Nation: Bernie!!! Plus: Gina Raimondo; former Obama and Biden adviser Ashlet Etienne; former Gov. Larry Hogan (R-MD); not-gonna-be-president Nikki Haley (MAGA).
Fox MAGA Talking Points Sunday: Council of Economic Advisers chair Jared Bernstein; Mike Pence (MAGA, but sad because MAGA won’t let him in their MAGA club.).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 1, 2013
CHEERS to the light at the end of the tunnel that's actually light and not a raging wildfire. The infernos threatening Yosemite National Park (no one knows how they got started but I bet it was that Wilkerson kid down the block) are now around 60 percent contained, and experts say it should be under control by September 20th. Once the flames are out, they'll cool down the entire area by airlifting Dick Cheney into stare at it for a few minutes.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to cool science. When all the death, doom and destruction get to be too much, there's always one place I can count on to restore my faith in humanity. I'm speaking of course about Dairy Queen. But when they're closed the next-best place is, of course, NASA, a jewel in the federal government's crown and an agency worth every tax dollar we send its way. If you happen to live under a sky, here's a preview of what you'll be seeing this month, courtesy of NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory:
Remember this important lesson: In space nobody can hear you scream. So make sure your texting device is fully charged so you can at least successfully type Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Percent chance that the latest economic forecast from the Federal Open Market Committee still projects a recession later this year:0%
Age of Rep. George Santos's paid campaign fundraiser who was indicted on charges of wire fraud and identity theft for impersonating an aide to Speaker Kevin McCarthy to get donations: 27
Rank of Barbie among Warner Bros. top-grossing domestic releases of all time, after topping The Dark Knight this week with $537 million: #1
Percent chance that the above number makes the misogynist MAGA cultists curl up into a little ball and cry: 100%
CHEERS to being so good that even The New York Times has to admit it. Holy mother of Baby Fudiciary Jesus, Batman! Yesterday's morning email from the "newspaper of record" must've been a real bummer for them to write, because Bidenomics is humming along so well that even they had to admit it. Read it and weep, pessimists:
Over the past few weeks, sentiments about the economy have gone from bleak to optimistic.
Inflation is down. The U.S. is still adding jobs, but not so quickly that it is prompting fears of an overheating labor market. Wages are now rising faster than prices, but also not quickly enough to renew worries about higher inflation. In short: The economy is good, but not too good.
What does it all mean for you? The chances of a job-wrecking, wage-crushing recession appear lower than they have in years.
America’s central bank, the Federal Reserve, has been working since 2022to cool the economy and, with it, inflation. Yet each step the Fed took to raise the cost of borrowing money carried risks—namely, going too far and causing an economic downturn. While it’s too early for the Fed to declare victory, economists are now more optimistic that the economy will make a so-called soft landing: Prices will stabilize without a recession
What can we say? Biden-Harris 2024.
CHEERS to mexed missages. Republicans used to be so good at marching in lockstep. But with 91 charges now leveled at their most-recent president and current undisputed head of the party (coughcultcough), they're all discombobulated. And there's no better example at the moment than these two Senate titans reading off different scripts in reaction to Trump's leadership role in the January 6, 2021 insurrection and how it should be handled:
Mitch McConnell’s BFF Lindsey Graham, this week: “This should be decided at the ballot box and not in a bunch of liberal jurisdictions trying to put the man in jail."
Lindsey Graham’s BFF Mitch McConnell, February 2021: "President Trump is still liable for everything he did while he was in office. ... We have a criminal justice system in this country [and] we have civil litigation. And former presidents are not immune from being accountable by either one."
Your GOP, ladies and gentlemen. There is no furniture of their own making that they won’t eventually bump into.
CHEERS to do-gooders of yore. As part of his 'War on Poverty,' President Lyndon Johnson signed the Economic Opportunity Act 59 years ago this week. It included funds for vocational training, loans to farmers and businessmen, establishment of a domestic version of the Peace Corps, and community action programs. Or, as modern-day Republicans call them: Ick, Blech, Yuck and Feh.
CHEERS to #23. Happy birthday Sunday to Benjamin Harrison, born on August 20, 1833 in North Bend, Ohio. As president from 1889 to 1893, he was the filling in the Grover Cleveland sandwich. And what a party animal! From Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents by Cormac O'Brien:
[I]n person the staunchly Presbyterian president was a virtual corpse.
Chilly, frigid, frosty—words like these were routinely used to describe the unpleasant experience of meeting privately with the man. [...]
”I’m not wearing pants.”
Senator Thomas Platt was the one who coined the moniker "White House Iceberg." As Platt explained, "Inside the Executive Mansion, in his reception of those who solicited official appointments, [Harrison] was as glacial as a Siberian stripped of his furs. During and after an interview, if one could secure it, one felt even in torrid weather like pulling on his winter flannels, galoshes, overcoat, mittens and earflaps."
Even Harrison's handshake was a flop, likened to "a wilted petunia."
Like Mike Pence. Minus the charm.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Quick roundup of TV fare for the weekend, starting tonight with Chris Hayes’ and Alex Wagner’s (in-)digestion of the Friday news dumps that landed in our collective lap today. Chris Christie unloads on Trump at 8:30 on PBS’s Firing Line. Or you can join me and the Trekkie Posse tonight at 8ET as we live-tweet the original series episode The Savage Curtain (via the H&I Network) at hashtag #allstartrek.
Little League World Series this weekend. The main thing to remember: “When you’re slidin’ into third and you feel a juicy turd, diarrhea! Diarrhea!”
The most popular movies and streamers, new and old, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. (The superhero movie Blue Beetle is getting good reviews, the R-rated animated Will Ferrell feature Strays not so much.) Tomorrow night at 8 on most networks there’s a star-studded Stand Up to Cancer fundraiser. The baseball schedule is here and the WNBA schedule is here. The Little League World Series is now underway, and the latest games air tomorrow and Sunday afternoon on ABC and ESPN. Oh, and there’s the Women’s World Cup Soccer final—England vs. Spain—that airs Sunday at 2 on Fox.
Sunday on 60 Minutes: Reports on stories that are so shocking they simply can’t reveal what they are until they air.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Govs. Tim Walz (D-MN) and Doug Burgum (MAGA Cult-ND).
Sunday at noon.
CNN's State of the Union: FEMA administrator Deanne Criswell; Sen. Bill Cassidy (MAGA Cult-LA); former Gov. Larry Hogan (R-MD); David Axelrod, Paul Begala.
Face the Nation: Gov. Josh Green (D-HI); Deanne Criswell; Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass (D); CBS polling guy Anthony Salvanto with new poll numbers; former FDA commissioner Scott Gottlieb.
This Week: Deanne Criswell; Mike Pence; former U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Future cleaning lady with a cigarette butt hanging off her lip Nikki Haley; Gov. Kim Reynolds (MAGA Cult-IA).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 18, 2013
CHEERS to Queer Eye for the Tough Guy. Other than knowing that professional wrestling is mostly a highly-choreographed (and sweaty—lord how they sweat) stage show, my interest in it pretty much ended at the intersection of Andre the Giant Avenue and Rowdy Roddy Piper Boulevard. But I know WWE is Theatre of the Macho, so it's cool to see the organization's official reaction to headliner Darren Young's exit from the closet and on his way to pride parade grand marshaldom:
On TMZ this morning, WWE Superstar Darren Young (Fred Rosser) revealed to the WWE Universe that he is gay. WWE is proud of Darren Young for being open about his sexuality, and we will continue to support him as a WWE Superstar. Today, in fact, Darren will be participating in one of our Be A STAR anti-bullying rallies in Los Angeles to teach children how to create positive environments for everyone regardless of age, race, religion or sexual orientation.
The response from his fellow WWE stars reveals the big-hearted lugs they are. In fact, tonight I hear they'll do a group hug before they beat each other senseless with folding chairs.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to people with the greatest first name on the planet. 42nd President Bill Clinton turns 77 tomorrow. Some Clintonian fun facts:
✓ Clinton is one of 8 left-handed presidents. With lefty predecessors Bush I and Reagan, America was led by southpaw presidents from 1981 to 2001.
Buddy and Bubba. For all his flaws—and he has many—at least #42 has excellent taste in pets.
✓ In 1996, President Clinton became the first Democrat to be elected to a second term since Franklin Delano Roosevelt in 1936. (16 years later Obama became the second.)
✓ He’s the only president who’s a Rhodes Scholar.
✓ Clinton was 16 when he shook hands with President John F. Kennedy in 1963, just four months before Kennedy’s death. Clinton later said he “muscled” his way through the line to meet JFK at the Boys Nation event.
✓ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech so impressed a teenaged Clinton that he memorized the entire speech right after it was given.
In his negative column: DOMA, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, DLC, Monica, repeal of Glass-Steagall, NAFTA, and I hear he reed-synched his sax solo on Arsenio. In his plus column: charming, scary intelligent, beat Bush I, Dole, and Perot, humiliated Gingrich, made the economy hum, beat his McDonald's addiction, post-Oklahoma City bombing speech was empathy writ large, busy humanitarian, won the Bosnian campaign, tore Romney apart piece by robotic piece at the 2012 Charlotte Democratic convention, and these days is just laying low and enjoying retirement. On the whole: a president whose camels deserve blessing. Oh, almost forgot: regards to the missus.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Note: Today is Take Your Houseplants For A Walk Day. For maximum enjoyment, we recommend you first celebrate Smoke Your Special Homegrown Houseplant That Sits Under The Purple Grow Light Day before you leave the house. And don’t forget to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
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By the Numbers:
5 days!!!
Days 'til President Biden visits Auburn, Maine to promote the economy and the rise in U.S. manufacturing: 1
Days 'til the Pear Fair in Courtland, California: 3
Ocean water temperature recorded in Manatee Bay, Florida Monday: 101 F
Number of search warrants and affidavits filed in connection with the federal case involving former president Trump's mishandling of classified documents: 8
Portion of tenured miners in central Appalachia who suffer from black lung disease: 1-in-5
Percent chance that Millennial voters are not following the usual pattern of becoming more conservative as they get older, according to a Financial Times analysis: 100%
Percent chance that Keith Richards sang for Queen Elizabeth II as part of a boys choir in the 1950s: 100%
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Tom Friedman, columnist for The New York Times, recently wrote that “liberals” no longer want to talk about the war because we were against it to start with and probably hope it ends in disaster. Jesus God Almighty, who does he think we are?
Does this man who has a column for The New York Times, one of the most prestigious jobs in American journalism, actually think we are out here cheering every time another American is killed? Mr. Friedman, real, actual, honest-to-God American liberals are out here in the heartland and we know the kids who are dying in Iraq. They are from our hometowns. We know their parents. That’s why we hate this war. That’s why we tried to tell everybody else it was a ghastly idea. We are not sitting here gloating because it is the horrible FUBAR we said it would be. We are in agony because it is as bad as we said it would be. Cassandra took no joy in the fall of Troy.
I have said from the beginning that if this thing worked out the way Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz and Cheney all said it would, I would be perfectly happy to get down on my knees and kiss George Bush’s feet. I do literally mean that.
CHEERS to Christmas in July. Team Biden has been working mighty hard to right the economy and get America moving again after the disastrous Previous Guy years. And despite being a country with one of the largest populations of whiners on the planet, We The People have decided we can no longer deny it—Joe has made life better in these United States:
A key measurement of consumer confidence just shot up to a level not seen since July2021.
The Trickle-down malarkey finally met its slayer.
The Conference Board’s monthly Consumer Confidence Index hit 117 in July, rising from 110.1the month before, according to new data released Tuesday. The index increased for the third consecutive month, bounding even higher after a sharp swing upward in June. Economists were expecting the index to climb to 111.8,according to consensus estimates on Refinitiv.
A strong labor market and cooling inflation are helping to keep Americans upbeat about both the current and near-term prospects of the economy, according to the report. Said Dana Peterson, chief economist at the Conference Board, in a statement Tuesday: “Greater confidence was evident across all age groups, and among consumers earning incomes less than $50,000 and those making more than$100,000."
Democrats hailed the news as proof that Joe's anti-trickle-down policies are working. Republicans called for the immediate impeachment of consumer confidence.
CHEERS to keeping the wheels of commerce a' turning. Speaking of happy people, here's reason to breathe a big sigh of relief this morning: the looming strike by UPS employees has been averted, thanks to some quiet diplomacy by President Biden, but mostly by the brains and brawn of the Teamsters union, which extracted well-earned benefit upgrades for over 340,000 employees:
“UPS has put $30 billion in new money on the table as a direct result of these negotiations,” Teamsters President Sean O’Brien said in a statement Tuesday. “This contract sets a new standard in the labor movement and raises the bar for all workers.” […]
In exchange for better pay and benefits, UPS drivers agreed to wear shorter shorts and tighter tops.
Under the new deal, 22.4 drivers would be reclassified as regular drivers and have their pay adjusted accordingly. UPS would also be prevented from requiring drivers to work overtime on their scheduled days off.
The five-year contract deal also includes what the union called “historic” wage increases. Current full- and part-time union workers are guaranteed a $2.75 hourly pay increase this year, the Teamsters said, amounting to a $7.50 hourly increase through the duration of the contract.
Pay for existing and starting part-time workers—which UPS and Teamsters leaders described as the last hurdle for a contract—would be raised to at least $21 per hour immediately, advancing to $23 per hour.
Sadly, my suggestion to change their normal arrival-alerting horn "toot-toot" to "La Cucaracha"was tabled until the next contract negotiations. Killjoys.
CHEERS to the end of the end. It was all over for Tricky Dick 49 years ago today, thanks to a 27-11 vote by the House Judiciary Committee to adopt the first of three articles of impeachment against President Nixon who, said ABC News's Tom Jarrell at the time, was "presumably still in his swim trunks" while on vacation in California when he heard the news. Meanwhile, then-VP Gerald Ford just couldn’t help but play a little game of up-is-downism:
Ford: It's interesting that every Democrat on the committee—north and south—voted for the article. ... It tends to make it a partisan issue.
Oh, just GTFO already.
Reporter: Even if one-third of Republicans voted for it?
Ford: Well, the fact that every one of the Democrats voted for it, I think, uh, lends credence that it's a partisan issue, even though some Republicans have deviated.
...said the Republican who later unilaterally exonerated the Republican crook. But, hey, what's a little hypocrisy among friends?
JEERS to hounding the wrong guy. Here’s a reminder that assholes can, and do, sometimes pee in the pool during the fun. Twenty-seven years ago today, domestic right-wing terrorist nut Eric Rudolph—now serving four life sentences in a Colorado prison—detonated a pipe bomb at the ‘96 Summer Olympic games in Atlanta.
Sculpture in Centennial (Olympic) Park with an indentation of a nail from the July 27, 1996 bombing.
The blast killed one person and injured over a hundred more, but it could've been worse if security guard Richard Jewell hadn’t found the bomb and tried to move people out of harm's way. The hero was later pilloried in the press and by the late-night gaggle (Leno called him the "Una-doofus") when it became known that the FBI considered him a suspect. Then, when his name was officially cleared, they moved on and dumped his reputation by the side of the road like a rodent carcass. Wikipedia reminds us of what the media should've learned:
Jewell's case became an example of the damage that can be done by reporting based on unreliable or incomplete information...
Mr. Lesson From The Past, meet Mr. ADD.
JEERS to this week's edition of Indictment Watch. It's been a week since special counsel Jack Smith issued a "target letter" to the infamous leader of the MAGA cult indicating that his arrest and indictment were imminent on charges stemming his planning of the January 6, 2021 insurrection. To keep you informed down to the tiniest detail of the investigation's current status, we sat down for a texting session with our blue-ribbon, $5,000-an-hour rent-a-panel of legal experts to provide answers to the most commonly asked questions:
Has Donald J. Trump been indicted on January 6 charges yet?
No.
How about now?
No.
Over the course of the asking and answering of the previous question, have any indictments come down?
No.
Do you know when the indictments will drop?
No.
Do you know why the indictments are taking so long?
No.
Would right now, this very moment, be the time at which he's indicted?
No.
How about now?
No.
Anything yet?
No.
Since nothing's happening, can I have my $5,000 back?
No.
Do you guys ever go to Clarence Thomas's house to watch porn with him?
[This session has been terminated.]
Conclusions: 1) No indictments yet. 2) I need to get a better blue-ribbon panel.
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Ten years ago in C&J: July 27, 2013
CHEERS to a #44 with a #45, hold the mayo. President Obama had Hillary Clinton over to the White House to look over paint swatches for the Oval Office…er, um, to have lunch yesterday. Naturally, the media made it all about them:
The two Democrats and former rivals met for lunch Monday in a private dining room at the White House, spawning a frenzy of predictable media speculation about whether they might be putting their heads together about Clinton’s much-rumored 2016 run.
And—adding to that speculation—Clinton is now also scheduled to have breakfast [today] with Vice President Joe Biden, considered a top potential rival for the Democratic nomination.
After lunch Obama and Clinton played lawn darts in front of the press pool. Doctors say Chuck Todd won’t be able to sit down for a week.
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And just one more…
JEERS to today’s weather. Here’s today’s weather, brought to you by Exxon Mobil, BP, Shell, Chevron, Occidental, and their political sycophants:
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Allison Jones, a casting director for the “Barbie” movie, told Vanity Fair recently that a few beloved celebs narrowly missed playing Kens in Greta Gerwig’s box office smash. Jones said that “Saturday Night Live” star Bowen Yang, “Schitt’s Creek” alum Dan Levy and “Cheers and Jeers” kiddie pool splasher Bill in Portland Maine almost made it into Barbieland as variations on the hunky male doll.
And all this time I thought nothing would ever top the Whiskey Rebellion.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, June 22, 2023
Note: A quick heads-up that, in our quest to be utterly horrible, there will be no C&J on Monday. We’ll return on Tuesday demanding that you take back what you said about us being utterly horrible or else we’ll take another day off. It’s up to you, people. It’s all up to you. —Mgt. Team & $500/hr. Motivational Consultants
Percent of parents polled by Morning Consult in India, Mexico, Singapore, Britain, and the U.S. who say climate change impacts their decision to have more kids: 53%
Rank of rising temperatures, water shortages, and sea level rise among effects parents are particularly concerned about: #1, #2, #3
Factor by which the volume of maritime trade is expected to increase by 2050: 3x
Percent of registered voters polled by CNN who believe Trump ought to end his campaign now that he’s facing federal charges: 59%
Percent of independents in the same poll who believe Trump should quit the race: 85%
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I know we all like to figure out whom to blame when something awful happens, but it is not a particularly useful exercise. What we are trying to figure out is how to keep this from happening again.
Whether the teen killers in Colorado were driven berserk by being taught evolutionary theory or were just Bad Seed, I submit to you, as a simple and self-evident proposition, that they could not have injured and killed so many people if they had not had guns.
If they had come into Columbine High School, pointed their index fingers at the kids they didn't like and said, "Bang, bang, you're dead!" not much would have happened as a consequence.
To address a tedious point, it is quite true that no law can assure that guns will not get into the hands of criminals and lunatics. But laws can make it much less likely that they will. The Brady law alone has kept tens of thousands of people with criminal or mental records from buying guns in just a few years.
CHEERS to the 47th president of the United States. I'm speaking, of course, of Kamala Harris, who will soon become the first woman president, the first woman president of color, and the first South Asian president. Wow!!!! What a step forward for our nation. And for that you can thank Congresswoman Lauren Boebert of the MAGA cult:
Rep. Lauren Boebert introduced articles of impeachment Tuesday against President Joe Biden that will force a House floor vote in the coming days. […] "President Biden's negligence of duty has resulted in the surrender of operational control of the border to the complete and total control of foreign criminal cartels putting the lives of American citizens in jeopardy," Boebert said on the House floor Tuesday.
Excellent press conference, Madam President.
Unlike other impeachment efforts, Boebert said, hers uses a procedural tactic that requires the House to hold a floor vote. "I am bringing my articles of impeachment against Joe Biden to the House Floor in a privileged motion, meaning that every Member of Congress must vote on holding Joe Biden accountable," Boebert tweeted.
Biden will be impeached this month. Then the Senate will convict him next month. (He really has been a very bad boy, in my opinion, what with all the shoving ice cream down our throats and tripping all over the damn place.) Then Vice President Harris will take the oath on the steps of the Capitol, followed by the traditional inaugural address (but not before the now-customary MAGA insurrection and bounty on Mike Pence's head). And then we all get to welcome our new vice president Hillary Clinton. After that, all the MAGAs go into cardiac arrhythmia and the planet lives happily ever after. So, uh, thanks Lauren?
CHEERS to being born! A hearty "Happy Birthday and many blessings on your camels" to Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, who turns [hffrrhffrrhrrr] today. Republicans fought tooth and nail to keep her from getting elected to the seat once occupied by the mighty Ted Kennedy, and it's easy to see why: her brains, common sense and willingness to expose the banksters and Trumpbots as the scum-sucking vampire squids they are have made her the ideological North Star for the Democratic party and a huge swath of independents. Here she is in action...
I am delighted that the Senate confirmed Julie Rikelman as a First Circuit judge! She's fair-minded, thoughtful and brings important professional diversity to the federal bench. Now more than ever, we need judges who understand reproductive rights and respect the rule of law. pic.twitter.com/GlWHTSiGFw
Our official C&J birthday gift to Senator Warren, as she continues her battle against the Republican forces of evil: a new pair of shoes with spikes in the toes. (Use them for good, ma’am. Only for good.)
JEERS to punishment via dumbstick. And then there's this little bit of scientific wankery, courtesy of the Catholic Church (still rife with pedophiles but more concerned with denying President Biden communion for not being a Republican). On June 22, 1633, Galileo Galilei was told that he had to "abjure, curse, and detest" his view that the earth revolved around the sun. Let's review the church's decree, shall we?
The proposition that the Sun is the center of the world and does not move from its place is absurd and false philosophically and formally heretical, because it is expressly contrary to Holy Scripture.
“Thank god this Earth/Sun issue will be the dumbest thing humanity ever has to sort through, and from here on out all decisions will be made based on science, reason, and common sense.”
—Galileo, stoned on some excellent weed
The proposition that the Earth is not the center of the world and immovable but that it moves, and also with a diurnal motion, is equally absurd and false philosophically and theologically considered at least erroneous in faith.
It took the Vatican over 350 years to admit their heads revolved around their asses. But they had a very good reason why: they were, like, y’know, busy with stuff.
CHEERS to supporting the troops. 79 years ago today, President Roosevelt—he of the super-awesome Democratic Party—signed the G.I. Bill of Rights:
Although World War II was far from over, FDR was determined to plan ahead for a smooth transition to peace, both abroad and at home.
FDR signs the historic G.I. Bill.
The President proposed to Congress a way to level the economic impact of the war’s end and to integrate returning veterans back into American society.
The result was the GI Bill.
Now widely credited with creating the post-war middle class, the GI Bill of Rights provided returning veterans with educational benefits, work training, hiring preferences, and subsidized loans for buying homes, businesses and farms. It continues today to be one of the lasting legacies of the Roosevelt administration.
It rewarded servicemen for their sacrifices with low-cost loans, educational subsidies and other benefits. Kind of like what our 43rd president (remember him?) wanted to do for servicemembers during his wartime presidency...minus the low-cost loans, educational subsidies and other benefits. (But double the deployments!)
JEERS to progress at the speed of Marsha Blackburn’s fastest brain cell. Sorry to break it to ya, ladies, but you don’t have to worry about achieving pay parity with the menfolk anymore, for the following reason: it's guaranteed not to happen during your lifetime…
A new report from the World Economic Forum estimates that women won’t attain parity with men for another 131 years. In other words, not until 2154.
The overall gender gap—a measurement of equality across the realms of the economy, politics, health and education—closed by a mere 0.3% as compared to last year, according to the WEF’s “Global Gender Gap Report 2023,” released Wednesday.
So now that we've settled that, maybe you could go in the kitchen and make me some breakfast?……...will be the last words of any male uttering them today.
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 22, 2013
CHEERS and JEERS to environmental whatchamahoozie. Just a heads-up that tomorrow President Obama will deliver his plan to prevent human beings from parasitically destroying the planet. Fearless prediction: all the good stuff he proposes—but which he will never accomplish because Congress is too busy sniffing its own methane emissions—will be a way to "soften" the blow for liberals when he later approves the Keystone pipeline project in the middle of the night. Please don't call me a cynical person. I much prefer cynical bastard.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to remembering the “Great Sitstorm” of Aught Sixteen. Can't let the week squeak by without slipping into the wayback machine to remember the day we discovered that Democrats could stage a sit-down protest on the floor of the House, disrupting business and throwing the Republican majority into a tizzy. But there wasn't a thing they could do about it, in part because the leader of the resistance was a living American icon:
Led by civil rights icon Rep. John Lewis (D-GA), Democratic members of Congress literally sat on the House floor on Wednesday to demand action on gun control. Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) responded by ordering the cameras off and abruptly ending the session.
Good trouble.
“We have lost hundreds of thousands of innocent people to gun violence,” Lewis said on the House floor during Wednesday’s morning session.
Dozens of Democratic members of Congress stood beside him, before they all took a seat on the floor.
“Tiny little children. Babies, students, and teachers. Mothers and fathers. Sisters and brothers. Daughters and sons. Friends and neighbors,” Lewis said. “And what has this body done?”
Watch him thunder and pound the lectern in righteous indignation on the House floor with his Democratic colleagues standing behind him. Indelible moment:
And so they literally sat on the floor of the House, much to the delight of Americans sick and tired of gun violence, but to the chagrin of the congress members' backsides. Nobody expected Republicans to do anything constructive in response, but it achieved Lewis's goal of "making some noise" and getting Americans to notice which party is looking out for them. On that score: point Democrats.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
The soul-soothing effects of Cheers and Jeers are not just speculation. A recent study found that people who splashed in the kiddie pool for three weeks reported a less negative effect than the control group.
I had an exceptional above-the-fold intro planned for this morning—[crosses fingers] really I did [uncrosses fingers]—but my neighbors said because yesterday was Memorial Day and I was being so helpful to everyone, in that Eagle Scout model-of-selflessness way of mine for which I am famous kinda like Colonel Sanders and his chicken, that an intro would not be necessary and we could just hop down below to the meat of the thing.
Suffice it to say the world remains a mixed bag and so far the inhabitants of the Goldilocks planets NASA keeps discovering aren’t answering the doorbell. But at least we can wear white again.
Let us proceed.
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 30, 2023
Note: We hope you had a nice Memorial Day weekend. As promised, here are my fresh wounds from the first Jarts tournament of 2023: here….here…here, here and here…oh, and these sixteen here that form a heart shape. Final score, as usual: 0-0.
JEERS to the continuing distraction from getting real stuff done. Here's our Tuesday update on the debt ceiling crisis. Despite a deal brokered by President Biden in which he makes all the concessions (though smaller ones than the MAGAs demanded), House and Senate Republicans continue acting like domestic terrorists who have no clue how to govern, are scaring the nation half to death, and should be sent to Gitmo for a few months (minimum) to dry out. Meanwhile the Commission to Study the Feasibility of Appointing a Commission to Study the Commissions That Have Already Been Appointed ran out of Metamucil and disbanded Saturday.
The Freedom Caucus is still mulling it over.
To prove that America can raise money without raising taxes, Lauren Boebert unilaterally put the Capitol rotunda on eBay (serious offers only, please). The rest of the world still thinks we've gone completely insane. Tomorrow: a five year-old comes up with a solution that everyone on both sides finds acceptable, and is immediately sent to bed without supper for interfering in a crisis.
CHEERS to frontier-style justice in the Lone Star Republic, where ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but white stripes and dead armadillos, where they can’t dance, never could sing, and it’s too wet to plow, where they're all gurgle and no guts, where they're all hat and no cattle, where they're so crooked that when they swallow a nail they spit up a corkscrew, where they're slicker than a slop jar, where they could start a fight in an empty house, where they think a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack, where they're o
ne bubble off plumb, where it's hot as a pot of neck bones, where there's a big difference between the ox and the whiffletree, where they wouldn't scratch their own mama's fleas, where...um…shoot, lost my train of thought. My point is…
In a historic vote Saturday, the Texas House of Representatives decided to impeach Republican state Attorney General Ken Paxton over allegations of illegal activities related to one of his political donors.
‘Bout time this idiot met his Alamo.
Paxton will immediately and temporarily be suspended from his duties pending a trial in the state Senate.
Huh. They finally nailed the bastard. Why, that's sweeter than an old maid's dream and finer than frog fur.
CHEERS to Ol' Marble Butt. 101 years ago today, on May 30, 1922—eight years after construction began and nine years after the original chocolate one melted—the Lincoln Memorial was dedicated in Washington, and immediately classed up the joint by 800 percent:
Lincoln's statue was sculpted by Daniel Chester French (1850-1931); plaster casts of Lincoln's hands and face were used to make the statue.
This ain’t no Ikea kit, bub.
The statue is over 3 times actual size; if the statue could stand up, it would be 28 feet tall. The murals were done by Jules Guerin. The 36 Doric columns represent the 36 states of the Union at the time of President Lincoln's death in 1865.
Honest Abe weighs an astonishing 120 tons. Of course it'd be a lot less if you tourists would quit tossing him chili dogs.
CHEERS to fresh ink. On this date in 1783, the Pennsylvania Evening Post was first published by Benjamin Towne in Philadelphia, PA as the first daily paper in the U.S. Coincidentally, it's also the 240th anniversary of the first "hint" from Heloise. (To this day we still rely on sprigs of lavender to deodorize ye olde chamberpot.)
CHEERS to today's edition of Here, Dmitry, Use My Handcuffs. Courtesy of ABC News:
Russia's Interior Ministry on Monday issued an arrest warrant for U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham following his comments related to the fighting in Ukraine.
This has been today's edition of Here, Dmitry, Use My Handcuffs.
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 30, 2013
CHEERS to Sunday morning fodder served up cold. I don’t know how or why, but Politico is considered sacred catnip for those living inside the D.C. beltway bubble. So it was fun yesterday to watch tongues a' waggin' over the PolitiFact (another beltway orgasm producer) study Politico posted showing that Republicans have a sociopathic addiction to lying. Or as Republicans call it: the study showing that Democrats have a sociopathic addiction to lying.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to two decades of pure domestic bliss (minus the wanting-to-rip-each-other's-throats-out parts). On May 30, 1993, my partner Michael—aka Common Sense Mainer here at DKos—and I ended up as Euchre (a midwest card game) partners at the local gay bar called Bambi's in Saginaw, Michigan. Then a bunch of stuff happened and yadda yadda yadda (don’t get me wrong, I mean the good kind of yadda) and long story short here we are on May 30, 2023 in Portland Maine, still together and speaking to each other on our 30th anniversary. Our gift-giving was a bit problematic this morning, though. Michael sold his pocket watch to buy me hair brushes, and I sold my hair so I could buy him a watch fob. Thirtieth fucking year in a row that's happened. I swear, next year he's getting Yahtzee.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Cheers and Jeers is all cliché, followed by painful cringe and then rounded out by dumbfounded confusion."
Happy 21st blogiversary to the persnicketiest band of muckrakers and misfits in Blogger Land. It all started when a dirty effing hippie named Markos Hemp Flower Rainbow Moonbat Moulitsas emerged from his deep-state law school cocoon, flapped his tie-dye wings on May 26, 2002, and proclaimed: “I am progressive. I am liberal. I make no apologies.” It's been all high-quality blah blah blah ever since.
"The" Daily Kos percolated for several months before I discovered it (via the Dean for America blog) and got addicted to the weekly 2004 primary “cattle calls” (which were revived for 2020, delighting audiences around the globe). After that, all hell broke loose and it's been a sprint for world domination ever since.
Continued...
Today Daily Kos has an amazing Elections Team, affiliation with Civiqs polling, dulcet-toned David Waldman and Justice Putnam on the radio, an activism and community-building arm, talented front-page and diary contributors (of note lately: Kos’s and Mark Sumner's Ukraine updates and Joan McCarter's laser-focus on the doings in the House and Senate), and groups within the community that focus on everything from environmental issues and labor to pooties and the day's top comments.
Just a fad……..since 2002.
We also continue to raise a ton of money and generate grassroots support for campaigns at the local, state, and federal level, not to mention over $3 million for relief agencies in Ukraine. Among our registered members: Elizabeth Warren, Barack Obama, Jimmy Carter, John Fetterman, Stacey Abrams, Raphael Warnock, and Stephen Colbert.
We even caught the eye of late luminaries like Ted Kennedy and Harry Reid (may they rest in a hereafter with no fucking filibuster headaches). Tonight we pour out a splash of drinkey in their honor, and all the beloved DK community members—too many, dammit—who have left us.
Despite the meta wars, sigh-inducing GBCWs, and the sheer crazy volume of information that gets posted every day, The 'The' "The" Daily Kos is still a vital national source of netroots-level analysis, opinion, issue-vetting, fundraising, snarking, storytelling and flying furniture. Only a fool would try to herd our breed of cats. So from all of me to all of you—especially you, Kos, our mighty Keyboard Kingpin and your “squadrons of rabid lambs”—Happy #21 from user ID #2574. May your hearts remain progressive, and your hands always be filled with pies.
And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Friday, May 26, 2023
Note: We wish you a safe, healthy, and hammock-filled holiday weekend. C&J will return on Tuesday, May 30. Probably with an errant lawn dart or two stuck in our foot, thigh, chest, head or buttock region. Because we hate to break with tradition. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
6 days!!!
Weeks 'til the start of the July 4th holiday weekend: 5
Prison sentence for Richard "Bigo" Barnett, the Jan. 6 traitor who sat in Speaker Pelosi's chair and propped his feet up on her desk: 4.5 years
Number of songs Tina Turner had on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, including her #1 hit What's Love Got to Do with It?: 17
Rank of Delta among best airlines rated by The Points Guys based on "factors such as reliability, affordability, loyalty programs and customer experience": #1
Year in which Congress officially declared Waterloo, New York as the birthplace of the Memorial Day holiday: 1966
CHEERS and JEERS to the week in review. Just a quick moment to take lightning-round inventory of our universe as we prepare to pause for an extended holiday weekend of picnics, memorials, flight delays, and lots of unexplained rashes:
» Robert F. Kennedy Jr. continues huffing turpentine vapors.
Also, as is obvious, the Earth remains a flat disc.
» Republicans continued their love affair with carnage and chaos.
» Every Republican-inspired mass-murder prevention measure, up to and including funding the police, failed to prevent mass murders.
» The Florida Man who wants to be the 47th president of the United States bumbled his rollout so badly that he’ll probably succeed.
» Daily Kos turned 21 and marked the occasion with several hours of botox injections.
» Gas prices are down. Inflation is down. Egg prices are down. Unemployment is down. Infrastructure construction is up. Optimism is up. But Biden is old so I question his competence.
» A ruthless and scary space alien trapped the Enterprise in a tractor beam and threatened to blow it up unless its demands were met, but it turns out it was just baby Clint Howard who was easily fooled by Captain Kirk's fake "Corbomite Maneuver."
Oh, and NOAA released its forecastfor the 2023 hurricane season, which starts next Thursday. Consensus: the gays, feminists, and pagans are still angry. Can’t say I blame ‘em.
CHEERS to multitasking. As our endorphins go wild over the prospect that our first warm-weather holiday weekend (and the unofficial start of summer) is upon us, Michael Embrich of the U.S. Secretary of Veterans Affairs’ Advisory Committee on the Readjustment of Veteransoffers up a few wordsfor the occasion:
Originally known as Decoration Day, Memorial Day was first observed in 1868, after the Civil War, when Major Gen. John A. Logan declared that May 30th should be a day to decorate the graves of fallen soldiers with flowers. It became an official federal holiday in 1971 and is now observed on the last Monday in May.
It is important to remember that Memorial Day is not just another three-day weekend or an excuse to head down to the Shore and have a barbeque. It is a day to honor the sacrifice of those who have died for our freedom, and to reflect on the true meaning of patriotism.
And, as always, we pause to reflect on Dwight Eisenhower's famous words: "I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity." Me, too. Minus the living it part, but I'll take his word for it.
CHEERS to the other star-spangled banner. Here’s a notable event to muse on this Memorial Day. On May 29, 1916, the official flag of the President of the United States was adopted by executive order. This is interesting, via the late historian David McCullough:
One morning, standing at his desk, [President Truman] presented to the press a new presidential flag … “This new flag faces the eagle toward the staff,” Truman explained, “which is looking to the front all the time when you are on the march, and also has him looking at the olive branch for peace, instead of the arrows for war …”
To me it looks like the eagle flew into a window.
Both the flag and presidential seal had been redesigned for the first time since the Wilson years, and Truman meant the shift in the eagle’s gaze to be seen as symbolic of a nation both on the march and dedicated to peace.
CHEERS to the end of the end. It was all over for Tricky Dick 49 years ago tomorrow, thanks to a 27-11 vote by the House Judiciary Committee to adopt the first of three articles of impeachment against President Nixon who, said ABC News's Tom Jarrell at the time, was "presumably still in his swim trunks" while on vacation in California when he heard the news. Meanwhile, then-VP Gerald Ford just couldn’t help but play a little game of up-is-downism:
Ford: It's interesting that every Democrat on the committee—north and south—voted for the article. ... It tends to make it a partisan issue.
Oh knock it off and get the f*ck outta here, crook.
Reporter: Even if one-third of Republicans voted for it?
Ford: Well, the fact that every one of the Democrats voted for it, I think, uh, lends credence that it's a partisan issue, even though some Republicans have deviated.
...said the Republican who later unilaterally exonerated the Republican crook. But, hey, what's a little hypocrisy among friends?
CHEERS to home vegetation. Here's some of the haps on TV this weekend, starting tonight with a pre-Memorial Day MSNBC reality check by the prime time hosts, or you can join me at 8 on the H&I Network for live-tweeting (at #allstartrek) of the classic Trek episode What Are Little Girls Made Of? with guest Ted “Lurch” Cassidy as a very tall robot in a very puffy robot suit.
Oops. I accidentally posted the logo of this weekend’s winning NBA team. Sorry ‘bout that.
The new movies and streamers (led by Rob Marshall’s live-action update of The Little Mermaid) are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The MLB schedule is here, the NHL Stanley Cup finals schedule is here, the WNBA schedule is here, and the NBA east finals schedule is here (Go Boston woo woo woo). Or you can catch the Indy 500 Sunday starting at 12:30 on NBC, followed by the final round of the Senior Open golf tournament (Go ghost of Ben Hogan woo woo woo). Saturday night at 10 Sarah Silverman debuts her new standup special Someone You Love on HBO.
Sunday on 60 Minutes: an encore of the profile they did on Tina Turner. The National Memorial Day Concert airs Sunday at 8 on PBS. And beyond that you should just go outside and tiptoe through the tulips.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Sens. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) and Roy Blunt (The Cult-MO).
Also: Debt Ceiling Cat will explain the latest negotiations by chasing the red dot from a laser pointer around the studio.
This Week: TBA
Face the Nation: Microsoft President Brad Smith; Chicago Federal Reserve Bank President Austan Goolsbee.
CNN's State of the Union: Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA); Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison; Gov. Chris Sununu (The Cult-NH).
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Speaker Kevin McCarthy (The Cult-CA); Rep. Jim Himes (D-CT); Sen. Lindsey Graham (The Cult-SC).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 26, 2013
CHEERS to the Master of the World. Belated C&J congrats to Sathwik Karnik, the Massachusetts seventh-grader who won the 2013 National Geographic Bee and gave King Philip Middle School good reason to cheer:
The victory was the Karnik family’s dream come true, [coach Dave] Quinn said. This is the third year a Karnik has appeared in the bee’s final round. … Sathwik is a veritable triple threat. He has previously competed and placed in science and math competitions, including one at MIT, and is looking forward to competing more.
The 12 year-old Karnik won the event in the final round when he was the only contestant who was able to go to his room and locate a clean pair of socks.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to today’s pop quiz. No peeking or Googling—if you try to cheat, I’ve inserted malware that will make your computer or smartphone start playing a never-ending loop of It’s A Small World After All, so fair warning. Here’s the question: who was the first senior Trump official—aka rat on the sinking ship—to flee the White House six years ago this week? Here’s a pleasant musical interlude while you’re thinking it over…
If you said Communications Director Michael Dubke, you win! Since that fateful day a mere 3 months after the stable genius who “only hires the best people” took the oath, the revolving door spun so fast that even Rachel Maddow gave up adding new names to her giant Departures Board. By the end of his massive fail in office, the only people left were the ones resigned to hosing him down with spray-on tan, fetching his cheeseburgers, and shoving UV lights up his tuchus. I wonder if they’re sitting at home bored with all the winning yet. On second thought, no, I really don’t.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Monday House Democrats continue their two-week "district work period." House Republicans continue their two-week "sleep ‘til noon then take a nap" period.
Losing Wisconsin state Supreme Court candidate Dan Kelly prepares to spend the week in his mancave sobbing into his MyPillow because he got landslided by a girl.
Tuesday The 45thpresident of the United States remains indicted on 34 counts of financial fraud, and today those indictments will sue to get moved to a different defendant because being attached to Donald Trump is hurting their credibility.
The white board that chews up and spits out corporate shills in House committee hearings appears on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, along with its trusty assistant Rep. Katie Porter (D-CA).
Continued...
Wednesday Kevin McCarthy suffers a brief pang of conscience. It quickly passes and his office staff cancels the 911 call.
All week: Ukrainian farmers continue to harvest their spring bumper crop.
After a bombshell report concludes that Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas failed to disclose lavish trips to posh resorts via yachts and private jets he received from a Hitler-infatuated Republican billionaire, the MAGA cult begs the Hitler-infatuated Republican billionaire to be Trump’s vice führ...er, vice president, I think. [Re-checks notes] Nope, my bad. It’s vice führer.
Thursday Oh poo. Another day, another day JFK Jr. doesn’t show up anywhere disguised as anybody.
America's Republican governors issue a joint statement of apology to their base voters and Fox News after they realize they've gone a full day without signing a piece of anti-woman, anti-Black, or anti-LGBTQ legislation into law.
Friday The University of Michigan announces the consumer sentiment index for April. Analysts are puzzled as America’s mood swings from rebarbative to effulgent.
The spring fiddlehead forecast is released and, once again, experts are torn between "boiled" and "pickled."
Saddle up and let’s get this foolishness over with by suppertime.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Monday, April 10, 2023
Note: Two roads diverged in the wood. I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. My road had waffles at the end of it.
Number of times Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas reported the ultra-luxury vacations and private jet travel provided to him by Republican billionaire mega-donor Harlan Crow over decades: 0
Number of times Tesla has cut prices since January: 5
Rank of the Louvre, British Museum, and Metropolitan Museum of Art among the world's most-visited art museums: #1, #2, #3
Percent chance that Kanye West's private Christian Donda Academy had "doors locked from the outside, lunches were always sushi, no forks or other utensils were allowed, no cleaning services or school nurses were employed, and medications on campus either were unsecured or had expired," according to plaintiffs in a lawsuit against him: 100%
Number of seconds after which this message will self-destruct: 5
CHEERS to jobs, jobs, jobs! (Or as Fox News describes it, since it's good news: "Nothing, nothing, nothing to see here!") If nothing else (and there's plenty else), President Biden has lorded over one hell of an employment comeback since taking office 27 months ago. The latest jobs report was so good (+236,000) that it was released by the Labor Department via confetti cannon on Friday. Bill McBride at Calculated Risk remains my go-to blog for number crunching, and he writes:
Overall, this was a solid employment report.
The headline jobs number in the March employment report was close to expectations, however employment for the previous two months was revised down by 17,000, combined. The participation rate and employment population ratio increased, and the unemployment rate decreased to 3.5%. […]
Damn. Whoever that Trump guy is, he really sucked.
[L]eisure and hospitality has now added back about 96% all of the jobs lost in March and April 2020. Construction employment decreased 9 thousand and is now 280 thousand above the pre-pandemic level. Manufacturing lost 1 thousand jobs and is now 198 thousand above the pre-pandemic level.
One guy who won’t be getting his dream job: Wisconsin state Supreme Court candidate Dan Kelly. He got beat by a girl, and now he’ll be mooching and taking from you and me when he marches down to the unemployment office and demands his free money. Pffft. Republicans are so predictable.
CHEERS to the return of the Jedi. Obi-Wan Kenobi said it plain to Darth Vader a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine," a sentiment Princess Leia echoed when she told Grand Moff Tarkin, "The tighter you squeeze, the more the rebellion will slip through your fingers." So leave it to Tennessee Republicans to ignore their warnings and expel two young Black representatives (one of whom, Justin Jones, went to Bowdoin College here in Maine) from the state House for the crime of raising their voices in the chamber to call for action against school shootings. Not only are the pair becoming household names across the country for showing up the MAGA cult as the fascist hive of scum and villainy it is, their political careers appear to be only momentarily derailed:
At least 29 members of Nashville’s 40-seat Metro Council said they plan to reappoint expelled former Rep. Justin Jones, D-Nashville, and send him back to the Tennessee House of Representatives. That would give him more than the simple majority he would need to reclaim his seat. […]
“I spoke to Reps Jones, Pearson, and Johnson to thank them for their leadership and courage in the face of a blatant disregard of our nation’s democratic values. Our country needs to take action on gun violence—to do that we need more voices like theirs speaking out.”
—President Biden, Friday
"Most of us said, 'See you when you get reappointed,'" House Democratic Caucus Chairman John Ray Clemmons, D-Nashville, said of his conversations with Jones and Pearson after the vote. In Shelby County, at least one of 13 county commissioners has vowed to reappoint Justin Pearson to his house seat.
Here's hoping they return to the House floor with force powers. The world would love to see their GOP colleagues get collectively pantsed.
CHEERS to a civil end to a most uncivil war. Big anniversary yesterday—in fact, it oughtta be a federal holiday. On April 9, 1865, following his final late-night cocaine orgy, Robert E. Lee called it quits and surrendered to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House in Virginia, effectively ending the southern traitors’ War for the Preservation of Owning Humans for Forced Labor.
Give the racist a purple nurple, Ulysses.
Several years ago a demographic historian concluded that the death toll of the war was much higher than originally thought—750,000 versus the original 620,000. Sadly, another number has also been extended far beyond its original estimate: the number of years it's taking too many white people in the South to admit they lost and put away that damn confederate battle flag. Hell, even slave owner and avowed racist treason-monger Lee had at least enough self-awareness to concern himself with post-war optics:
"When Robert E. Lee surrendered he asked all of his followers to furl this flag. Stow it away, he said. Put it in your attics," Clyburn continued. "He refused to be buried in his Confederate uniform. His family refused to allow anyone dressed in the confederate uniform to attend his funeral. "Why? Because Robert E. Lee said he considered this emblem to be a symbol of treason.”
He also didn’t want any statues of him put up, a request that fell on deaf ears as groups like the Daughters of the Confederacy erected hundreds of them (of Lee and other CSA icons, including a fresh batch in the 1960s to remind the civil rights movement to remember “their place”) as a way of living in denial of their treason. I’ll give the ‘em credit for one thing: they sure picked the right theme song. "Look away, DixieLand." Mission accomplished.
JEERS to non-refundable tickets. On April 10, 1912, the unsinkable RMS Titanic set off for New York from Southampton, England. That cruise, of course, turned out to be a disaster. The caviar was much too salty.
CHEERS to an accurate assessment. Funny thing about having a presidential administration that's staffed up and down the chain with smart, competent, sober-eyed professionals: when they issue a report on something, you can count on it to be truthful and accurate. Exhibit A: its report on our military withdrawal from Afghanistan, something that should've happened a lot earlier than it did. The place was always a quagmire rife with corruption, "victory" could never be defined (let alone achieved), and we knew darn well from Russia's catastrophic withdrawal that it was never going to end well for us either. And so it didn't. Bush II and Obama—and even Biden, a bit—deserve to take some lumps, but #45 is rightfully getting the Adderall-sniffing lion's share of the blame for setting the withdrawal in motion:
Since the U.S. withdrawal, Biden has blamed the February 2020 agreement Trump reached with the Taliban in Doha, Qatar, saying it boxed the U.S. into leaving the country. The agreement has been blamed by analysts for undercutting the U.S.-backed government, which collapsed the following year.
Pete Buttigieg serving in Afghanistan.
Under the U.S.-Taliban Doha agreement, roughly 5,000 Taliban prisoners were released as a condition for what were supposed to be separate future peace talks between the Kabul government and the Taliban. [John] Kirby noted that release and other examples of what he said was a “general sense of degradation and neglect” inherited by Biden. […]
The U.S. was to remove all forces by May 1, 2021. Biden pushed a full withdrawal to September but declined to delay further, saying it would prolong a war that had long needed to end.
And now, $2 trillion and over 200,000 dead people later, everything in Afghanistan is back to the way it was on September 10, 2001. The End.
Sen. Tim Johnson (D-SD), one of the last remaining Democratic holdouts to oppose same-sex marriage, announced Monday that he now supports gay nuptials. "After lengthy consideration, my views have evolved sufficiently to support marriage equality legislation," Johnson said in a statement.
"This position doesn't require any religious denomination to alter any of its tenets; it simply forbids government from discrimination regarding who can marry whom."
By my count, that's 54 senators in favor of gay marriage, with Democrats Joe Manchin (WV), Mark Pryor (AR) and Mary Landrieu (LA) still acting like they don’t support it when of course they do. Pretty soon the closet's gonna be filled with nobody but straight people in denial. And I promise to support their right to get married.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the wind beneath the New Deal's wings. She was born on April 10, 1880 in Boston, but her ancestral roots were in Maine, where she spent much of her downtime and was laid to rest (in Newcastle) in 1965. Her strict parents wanted her to be a teacher and live at home, but Frances Perkins had other plans. Bearing witness to how badly the employed and unemployed were treated, she made it her life's mission to do something about it. Her smarts and tenacity led her to the position where, with the full backing of her boss, she stitched together the American social safety net we have today:
When, in February, 1933, President-elect Roosevelt asked Frances Perkins to serve in his cabinet as Secretary of Labor, she outlined for him a set of policy priorities she would pursue: a 40-hour work week; a minimum wage; unemployment compensation; worker’s compensation; abolition of child labor; direct federal aid to the states for unemployment relief; Social Security; a revitalized federal employment service; and universal health insurance.
FDR signs Social Security into law, with Frances Perkins looking on behind him.
She made it clear to Roosevelt that his agreement with these priorities was a condition of her joining his cabinet. Roosevelt said he endorsed them all, and Frances Perkins became the first woman in the nation to serve in a Presidential cabinet. […]
Within a month of Roosevelt’s inauguration, Congress enacted legislation establishing the Civilian Conservation Corps, which Roosevelt asked Perkins to implement. … Before Roosevelt presented his final One Hundred Days legislation to the Congress, the National Industrial Recovery Act, Perkins convinced him to allocate $3.3 billion for public works from the moneys appropriated. Serving as a member of the Special Board for Public Works, Perkins helped to ensure that money was spent on socially useful projects: schools, roads, highway, housing projects and post offices. Public works construction employed a many as 1.5 – 2 million people in 1934.
FDR's dynamic duo: Frances Perkins and Eleanor.
In1934, Roosevelt appointed Frances Perkins to head a Committee on Economic Security, where she forged the blueprint of legislation finally enacted as the Social Security Act. Signed into law by the President on August 14, 1935, the Act included a system of old age pensions, unemployment compensation, workers’ compensation and aid to the needy and disabled. … In 1938, Congress enacted the Fair Labor Standards Act, also crafted with the support of Perkins, establishing a minimum wage and maximum work hours and banning child labor. [...]
In1944, a piece portraying Frances Perkins in Collier’s magazine described her accomplishments over the previous twelve years as “not so much the Roosevelt New Deal, as … the Perkins New Deal.”
Today the Labor Department HQ in Washington is called the Frances Perkins Building. And in a sign of just how popular and durable her Social Security idea has become, President Joe Biden got safety net-hating Republicans to pledge, openly and publicly on national TV during his 2023 State of the Union address, not to touch it during budget negotiations. So this morning we say Happy Birthday #143 to Frances Perkins, the champion of workers' rights and retirees whose policies gave body to the Democratic party's soul. And many blessings on your camels.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are youcheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"This is beyond party or partisanship. This degree of algae in the kiddie pool is shocking—almost cartoonish. Bill in Portland Maine must be impeached."
Late Night Snark: What A Pleasant 2023 We’re Having Edition
"The House approved a set of rules that will weaken Speaker Kevin McCarthy's powers. Really? How could they possibly make him any weaker? They're already treating him like a substitute teacher on the last day of school. Are they gonna make him wear the KICK ME sign on the front? "
—Seth Meyers
"There's a huge story out of Brazil. They just had a presidential election and the loser was far-right politician Jair Bolsonaro. Bolsonaro claimed he lost because of voter fraud. And if that sounds familiar, this will too: Yesterday Bolsonaro supporters rioted, storming Brazil's Congress and presidential office. No! I cannot watch this movie again. I know how it ends: with all of a sudden liking Brazilian Liz Cheney."
—Stephen Colbert
Continued...
You are now below the fold. You fool. You poor, poor fool.
"On Monday we learned that lawyers for Joe Biden happened upon a handful of classified documents that were found in a private office he used at the University of Pennsylvania. Of course, anytime top-secret documents are mishandled it needs to be taken seriously. That's something Republicans and Democrats believe, although Republicans have only believed it since Monday."
—Jimmy Kimmel
New York Republicans called on Congressman George Santos to resign. Santos says he's not a quitter, and he proved it at the '92 Olympics by winning five gold medals."
—Jimmy Fallon
"Russian president Vladimir Putin has announced that he has demoted the top military commander in Ukraine and brought in a replacement. But you know what they say: When God closes a door, Putin opens a fourth-story window."
—Seth Meyers
"The world's first robot lawyer will soon defend a client against a speeding ticket in its first-ever court case. The artificial intelligence software will run on a smartphone, listen to the proceedings, and then instruct the defendant on what to say via an earpiece. Which is a long way of saying the defendant s going to jail."
—James Cordon
And two years ago this week:
"Trump got impeached in December 2019 and January 2021, and botched COVID in between. Dude basically made a pandemic sandwich with impeachment bread."
—Jimmy Fallon
And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Friday, January 13, 2023
Note: How do you know when Friday the 13th has brought you bad luck? When you find yourself reading Cheers and Jeers on a Friday night. Here endeth the lesson.
President Biden's approval rating among registered voters in the latest YouGov/Economist poll: 50%
Amount that'll be invested in Georgia's economy, thanks in part to the Inflation Reduction Act, when Hanwha Q Cell builds the largest solar panel company in the U.S.: $2.5 billion
Number of jobs that'll be created, many of which will not require a college degree: 2,500
Amount of $$$ generated Tuesday during the first seven hours of Connecticut's first day of legal marijuana sales: $250,000
Number of actors besides Sylvester Stallone to have starred in a #1 box-office movie in six consecutive decades: 0
CHEERS to taming the beast. Inflation is un-inflating, according to the latest report from the Federal Bureau of People Who Keep Track of These Things. Let's take a spin around the headlines we found on The World Wide Web and see how our media overlords are framing it:
Inflation Slowed Further in December for the Sixth Month in a Row (Washington Post)
Inflation cooled in December, bolstering hopes US can avert recession (ABC News)
U.S. inflation Cools Again, Putting Fed on Track to Downshift (Bloomberg)
Dow Climbs Over 200 Points After CPI Date Shows Cooling Inflation (CNBC)
In other news, this cursor is drunk again.
U.S. Inflation Rate Fell Last Month Amid Cheaper Fuel and Airfares (New York Times)
Biden Stuffs Classified Documents Down Pants as Democrats Continue Eating Babies and Illegals Pour Into Country To Rape and Pillage YOUR FAMILY (Fox News)
Prices fell in December as inflation continued to moderate (CNN)
As Inflation Eases, US Economy Looks Less Bleak (CBS News)
Nanobots Believed Responsible for Fake Inflation Numbers—Eggs now $1,000 Each (Breitbart)
Inflation cooled in December to 6.5%, but the Fed is likely to keep interest rates high (NBC News)
Okay, who blabbed about the nanobots?
JEERS to placenta behind the wheel. Oh, hey, Virginia, here's another outstanding use of your tax dollars—paying the salaries of the MAGA nimrods behind this:
A Virginia bill would deem a pregnant person's fetus a passenger in a car, thereby allowing the vehicle to use the car pool lane on highways.
“Honk HONK!!! Outta the way, you effing idiot!”
—Hot-headed Blastocyst Carpooler
HB 1894, which a Republican legislator pre-filed in the General Assembly on Tuesday, "provides that a pregnant woman shall be considered two people for the purposes of determining occupancy" in high occupancy vehicle and high occupancy toll lanes on expressways in the state.
But they stopped short of allowing HOV lane access for vehicles with a "God is My Co-Pilot" sticker on their bumper. Because, c'mon, that would just be silly.
CHEERS to stopping with all the shooting and the banging and the bayoneting and whatnot. 239 years ago tomorrow, on January 14, 1784, Congress ratifiedthe Treaty of Paris, officially ending our War of Independence:
After the British defeat at Yorktown, peace talks in Paris began in April 1782 between Richard Oswarld representing Great Britain and the American Peace Commissioners Benjamin Franklin, John Jay, and John Adams.
Can you IMAGINE what this would fetch on eBay today?
The American negotiators were joined by Henry Laurens two days before the preliminary articles of peace were signed on November 30, 1782. The Treaty of Paris, formally ending the war, was not signed until September 3, 1783. The Continental Congress, which was temporarily situated in Annapolis, Maryland, at the time, ratified the Treaty of Paris on January 14, 1784.
Among the other provisions we secured from Britain: recognition of our borders, repairs to all the airports they damaged, and royalty-free Benny Hill reruns.
CHEERS to one of the good guys. On this date 45 years ago, Minnesota Senator Hubert Humphrey of Minnesota—aka Mayor of Minneapolis, LBJ's vice president, 1968 presidential candidate (great platform except for supporting the Vietnam War) and fierce advocate in the war on poverty—died much too young at 66. He was wise:
"Compassion is not weakness, and concern for the unfortunate is not socialism."
Humphrey in his prime.
"Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law."
“We seek an America able to preserve and nurture all the basic rights of free expression, yet able to reach across the divisions that too often separate race from race, region from region, young from old, worker from scholar, rich from poor. We seek an America able to do this in the higher knowledge that our goals and ideals are worthy of conciliation and personal sacrifice.”
"Liberalism, above all, means emancipation—emancipation from one's fears, his inadequacies, from prejudice, from discrimination, from poverty."
And a special shout-out from Humphrey to the MAGA cult: "The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously." Amen.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Here's some of the haps on the squawk box this weekend, starting with Chris Hayes and the MSNBC crew processing the Friday news dumps. Or you can catch a new edition of Penn & Teller: Fool Us at 8 on the CW, followed by an hour of Whose Line Is It Anyway?
This movie is bonkers. And I know bonkers.
The new movies and home videos are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. (Remember: you must see Avatar 2 at least five times or James Cameron will come to your house and shout his Titanic acceptance speech at you.) The NBA schedule is here, theNFL wild card schedule is here, the NHL schedule is here. Amy Schumer hosts an encore edition SNL. Sunday on 60 Minutes: A peek inside the fusion-making wizards at the Lawrence Livermore Lab’s National Ignition Facility, and a report on the investigators of Russia’s smarmy oligarchs. The Critics Choice Awards air on The CW Sunday at 7. And when that’s over it’s off to bed because you have a busy week ahead.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: TBA
Big media weekend for Viceroy TBA.
This Week: TBA
Face the Nation: TBA
CNN's State of the Union: rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD); Rep. Ro Khanna (D-CA); Rep. James Comer (The Cult-KY).
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Rep. Tony Gonzales (The Cult-TX); Governor Sarah H’yuckabee Sanders (The Cult-AR).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 13, 2013
JEERS to the return of the dolts. The 113th "Do Nothingest" Congress convenes today. On the one hand, they'll ignore jobs, climate change, immigration, infrastructure improvements, gun violence and civil rights. On the other hand, they'll hack away at women's rights, voter rights, Obamacare and Sandy disaster relief. On the other other hand, they'll name some post offices, hold the debt ceiling hostage, and take a record amount of time off while getting paid $174,000 with full benefits. I say this in the finest George W. Bush tradition: heckuva job.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to proving the dummy wrong. Thirteen years ago this week I got an URGENT email from some conservative hack who wanted me to know something very important. It's—as most of these conspiratorial screeds are—very long, but here's the Crazy Cliffs Notes version. Being a fan of alliteration, the first sentence gave me goosebumps:
The discredited, democrat funded 'DailyKos' web site continues with it's daily doctored, dishonest, democrat funded pro-Obama polling numbers. Today's doctored poll shows Obama's approval numbers a full EIGHT points higher than the average of all the respected, neutral, trusted polls and a full TEN points higher than the respected CBS News poll released earlier today.
Let's be clear, Kos is taking money from democrats to doctor opinion polls and the boot-lickers and sycophants that support Kos are afraid to challenge Kos. Remember, dissenting opinion, debate and argument are not allowed on the Kos web site. If you disagree with Kos you are not allowed to post articles on the democrat funded Kos web site so none of the information regarding doctored Kos polls and other Kos lies will ever appear on his web site. Much like the low rated Olbermann program, dissent on the 'DailyKos' is forbidden!
The evidence and history of the phony doctored polls on the democrat funded DailyKos irrefutable and striking, unfortunately the anonymous so-called writers that post stories on Kos are not allowed to criticize him or they'll be banned for life.
And this is where yours truly takes the "democrat funded" risk of a lifetime—as I do every year at this time—by stepping off the ledge and testing the emailer's grand theory. As a Daily Kos "bootlicker" this is difficult, but here goes: Markos, you are a butthead. The rest is in God's hands. Please pray for my soul.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
A portrait in contrast to the ideology Republicans tried to force on our country two years ago tomorrow: it was on January 6, 1941 when Franklin Roosevelt delivered his famous "Four Freedoms" State of the Union speech. (You can read it and hear it here). While the oft-cited quartet—of speech, of religion, from want and from fear—is timeless, so too is this part of his address, which basically is both the Democratic playbook and the American dream. Here's what the dirty effing Hyde Park hippie bleated:
"The basic things expected by our people of their political and economic systems are simple. They are:
• Equality of opportunity for youth and for others.
• Jobs for those who can work.
Continued...
• Security for those who need it.
• The ending of special privilege for the few.
• The preservation of civil liberties for all.
• The enjoyment of the fruits of scientific progress in a wider and constantly rising standard of living.
January 6, 1941
These are the simple, the basic things that must never be lost sight of in the turmoil and unbelievable complexity of our modern world. The inner and abiding strength of our economic and political systems is dependent upon the degree to which they fulfill these expectations.
Many subjects connected with our social economy call for immediate improvement. As examples: We should bring more citizens under the coverage of old-age pensions and unemployment insurance. We should widen the opportunities for adequate medical care. We should plan a better system by which persons deserving or needing gainful employment may obtain it."
He was right—simple and basic things based on decency, compassion and common sense to ensure domestic tranquility and promote the public good. What a perfect contrast to the “ideals” of anarchy and dictatorship that’ll be celebrated tomorrow by Republicans on their new high holy day. I’ll take FDR’s vision, thanks. I just never quite got the hang of knuckle dragging.
And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, January 5, 2023
Note: Today is National Bird Day. Please flip it responsibly.
Percent chance that George Santos spent most of yesterday in the House cloakroom so people would stop pointing in his direction and laughing: 100%
Number of women besides Patty Murray (D-WA) who have become Senate President pro tempore: 0
Years since Pennsylvania had two elected Democratic senators: 78
Dept. of Justice conviction rate against the Jan. 6 MAGA insurrectionists: 99.8%
Amount the Avatar sequel has made so far: $1.5 billion
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Oh boy! Starting the year off briskly, lending it such tone already, such cachet, such je ne sais quoi—those Republicans are so special, aren't they? Their first move, first rat out of the trap, top priority: lower ethics standards. Yessiree, this 2005 is going to be quite a year.
Let's put that to a vote. Many problems before us—Iraq, a Social Security "crisis," a real health care crisis, world terrorism, our international reputation possibly at its lowest ever ... who is in favor of lowering ethics standards first? Who thinks ethics standards in Washington are too high? […]
Now, I'm not going to conclude that Fascism Is Upon Us just because we have an administration that not only can't find the Constitution but apparently doesn't know there is one. Too early in the year for that. Long way to go. Got to save your indignation. But it is unpleasantly reminiscent of Watergate, isn't it? That's what we're looking at here, folks—not just constitutional deafness, but moral turp as well. All we need is one bag job and an alert night security man.
CHEERS to fixing up our fixer-uppers. In the most amazing bending of the time-space continuum ever, Joe Biden's Infrastructure Week is nearing the14 month mark. After signing the bill into law in November 2021, he just keeps building and repairing and, to coin a phrase, sciencing the shit out of the stuff America needs to run on. (Contrary to what they claim, it's not "Dunkin'.") Yesterday our modern-day FDR-LBJ hybrid (minus the wars) visited the midwest, where thousands of illegal Kentuckians have been wading across the Ohio River into Cincinnati in search of a better life. But thanks to the infrastructure law, they'll soon be able to just drive across on—[Cue music from The Price Is Right]—A BRAND NEW BRIDGE!!!
President Joe Biden came to Greater Cincinnati Wednesday to tout a long-awaited Brent Spence Bridge project that he said proves Americans can still get things done if they work together.
Biden bridges the divide.
Speaking in Covington, not far from the 60-year-old bridge that had for years been a symbol of partisan gridlock, Biden praised Republicans and Democrats in Ohio, Kentucky and Washington for setting aside their differences to fix one of the nation’s most important pieces of infrastructure.
"I believe it sends a message, an important message, to the entire country," Biden said of the new law that made the bridge project possible. "We can work together. We can get things done. We can move the nation forward."
Biden was joined by Mitch McConnell, who caused a brief delay when he instinctively stood up and tried to filibuster the ceremony, which continued without incident after two cloture votes and one mega-injection of ketamine.
CHEERS to Republicans in array. It was inspiring, really. And, yes, I realize that I'm saying that as a card-carrying Demonrat, but I thought it demonstrated the best of our democracy that the GOP came together, put their differences aside, compromised, and chose a Speaker of the House yesterday who embodies the values of the entire spectrum of the modern conservative movement. His name is Burt:
He graduated from Harvard, is a Pisces, and likes long midnight strolls on the kitchen floor. He will take no questions at this time.
P.S. Sadly, Burt was intentionally stepped on this morning by Lauren Boebert. Thoughts and prayers. The saga continues.
CHEERS to Democratic bulldogs. Speaking of speakers, former Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill—who coined the phrase "All politics is local"—died 29 years ago today at 81. His 1994 New York Times obituary is an excellent read on retail politics and how Team D can differentiate itself from Team R:
He was a large, joyous, generous-spirited man with a bulbous nose, yellowed white hair that flopped over his forehead and an ever-present cigar. […]
You never saw him and Lt. Frank Drebin in the same room together.
Mr. O'Neill was an old-style politician and proud of it, a House Speaker comfortable with power, who clung to his brand of liberalism long after it ceased to be fashionable, even among his fellow Democrats.
An early opponent of the Vietnam War, Mr. O'Neill took strong positions on many controversial issues. He was the Congressional leader who pushed hardest for the impeachment of President Richard M. Nixon and later, as Speaker, put his prestige on the line for Congressional reform. […] To Mr. O'Neill, who spoke of the Democratic Party with near-religious fervor, the party was the one of the cities, the working people, the poor, the needy, the unemployed, the sick and the disinherited. "And no way are we ever going to let them down," he would insist.
When a female is ready to lay her eggs, she seeks out a tarantula and injects it with paralyzing venom.
Welcome to New Mexico!
She drags the tarantula to a burrow and stuffs it down the hole, then lays her eggs on top of the paralyzed spider. Several days later the eggs hatch and the larvae feed on the still living tarantula.
Also: not many people know that the state maintains an army of giant tarantula hawk wasps in an underground bunker in Roswell. And also not many people know that therein lies the reason for the state's official motto: "What New Mexico Wants, New Mexico Gets."
The Russian military has blamed its soldiers' use of cellphones for a Ukrainian missile attack that killed dozens and fueled a new round of domestic criticism at how the war is being fought. […]
“It is already obvious that the main reason for what happened was the switching on and massive use—contrary to the prohibition—by personnel of mobile phones in a reach zone of enemy weapons,” Gen. Lt. Sergei Sevryukov said in a statement posted on Telegram.
This has been today's edition of Yup, That'll Do It.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 5, 2013
CHEERS and JEERS to the Mustache of Independence. Three days after being sworn in as Maine's new Senator, Angus King classed up the roundtable on Meet the Press yesterday. Much of what he said made sense, like this:
"It's important to talk about what the debt ceiling really is. The debt ceiling has nothing to do with the future. It has to do with the past. The debt ceiling is allowing us to borrow money to pay money that we've already borrowed. It's as if we spend money on our credit card [and] at the end of the month say, "Well, I'm not going to pay it." And that wrecks your credit."
And he occasionally made me urp my breakfast into my lap:
"Simpson and Bowles are right."
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he means ideologically. But I'm still sending him the bill to get my jammies dry-cleaned.
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And just one more…
CHEERS and JEERS to the speech spankers. Right on schedule, Lake Superior State University's annual "banished word list" popped up on the scene to give the cable news anchors a "kicker" story over which to hone their phony-chuckling skills. Sure, we're happy to see terms like "GOAT," "absolutely" and especially "It is what it is" on the list. But C&J—thin-skinned as we are—will never shake the bitterness that infused our lives on that dark day in 2005 when they went off the linguistic deep end:
BLOG – and its variations, including blogger, blogged, blogging, blogosphere. Many who nominated it were unsure of the meaning. Sounds like something your mother would slap you for saying.
Killing frogs for over 20 years?
"Sounds like a Viking’s drink that’s better than grog, or a technique to kill a frog." Teri Vaughn, Anaheim, Calif.
"Maybe it’s something that would be stuck in my toilet." – Adrian Whittaker, Dundalk, Ontario.
"I think the words ‘journal’ and ‘diary’ need to come back." – T. J. Allen, Shreveport, La.
So, for the eighteenth year in a row (and until they apologize for being such meanies), C&J humbly keeps these four words on our own banished list: Lake Superior State University.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Leaving aside the particulars of the current situation, I do find it odd that many people think that Bill in Portland Maine is actually supposed to die in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool."
