Missouri’s three Republican Senate candidates are leading the race to be worse than Trump

At the end of the current term, Missouri Sen. Roy Blunt has said he’ll end his run as the head of the Blunt Family Lobbying Enterprises. Which leaves an opening for a new senator in an increasingly red state that Trump took by over 15% in 2020. 

Back in 2012, Todd Akin led in the polls over Claire McCaskill until his comments about how women rarely get pregnant from "legitimate rape" generated a national firestorm. But that was 2012. It’s clear that a decade later, such a comment wouldn’t make a single Republican turn away. In fact, everything that Akin said could very well be a required Republican “wisdom” by the time the election rolls around.

In any case, the opportunity to slip into Blunt’s extraordinarily lucrative slot has Republicans scrambling out of the woodwork, and Missouri has already lined up three candidates who could not be better examples of a modern major Republican. Seriously. It’s a smorgasbord of choices that make the shrimp buffet at Mar-a-Lago seem insufficiently Trumptastic. Because those choices are: The ex-governor who resigned in the midst of a sex scandal, the attorney general who is suing China over COVID-19, and the guy whose fame entirely rests on waving around an AR-15 while wearing a pink polo shirt.

In the race to the bottom, Missouri has pulled out a really big shovel.

Not every candidate is officially in the running at this point, except that they’re all very much officially in the running when it comes to slapping palms, building up their war chests, and securing their place as the most GD ridiculous choices imaginable. Because in the GQP, candidates are scored on outrageousness.

First up is Eric Greitens. If the name sounds familiar, that’s because Greitens already won the more-ridiculous-than-thou sweepstakes once. In 2016, Greitens jumped into the campaign for Missouri governor, lifting a list of donor names from a charity and knocking down the largest campaign donation in Missouri history—$1.97 million—from a super PAC that had been completely unknown until the moment it wrote that check. That super PAC turned out to be just a cover for another super PAC. And that super PAC turned out to be a front for wealthy Ohio attorney David Langdon, whose primary issues were, of course, blocking a woman’s right to choose and rolling back gay rights. None of this was revealed during the campaign, during which Greitens promised radical transparency while running commercials that featured blowing things up. And shooting things. Then blowing up more things. Really. 

But it wasn’t the multiple investigations into his charity or his extensive resume padding that ultimately brought down Greitens. That came courtesy of a scandal in which the governor admitted to having an extramarital affair with his hairdresser. During this affair he tied her up, blindfolded her, took nude photos, and threatened to reveal the photos if she ever went public. Greitens ended up being investigated by none other than then state attorney general Josh Hawley—showing that Missouri was already primed for a face-off of Republicans in the search for the limits of sanity. The charges against Greitens were eventually dropped after the photos could not be found, but an investigation by the Republican-dominated legislature led to Greitens getting out of Jefferson City just ahead of an impeachment that had been signed on to by three-quarters of each chamber.

The next choice for Republicans seeking a candidate in 2022 is another Eric: Missouri’s current attorney general, Eric Schmitt. Schmitt’s name may also be somewhat familiar to those outside the Show-me State became he was the head of the Republican Attorneys General Association. That would be the Republican Attorneys General Association that worked closely with Trump to undermine the results of the 2020 election. In fact, Schmitt’s name was one of those on the suit that the RAGA sent to the Supreme Court when it challenged the election results in Pennsylvania—an effort the Republican-heavy Court promptly swatted down. Schmitt was also on hand for multiple attempts to overturn Obamacare.

In the last few weeks, Schmitt had resigned his position with RAGA to concentrate on his Senate run. First task: doing something even more outrageous to solidify his position with the frothing Republican base. But what could he do that would be more foolish, more out there, and more slavishly Trump-worshipping than trying to directly intervene in the election? Well, how about launching a stunt lawsuit against China over the COVID-19 pandemic and hurting Asian Americans in the process? Schmitt dropped off his paperwork at the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Missouri, claiming that Chinese authorities “deceived the public, suppressed information and permitted millions of people to be exposed to the virus.” It’s a suit that’s doing nothing other than allowing Schmitt to say “China virus” in every media appearance—but it is a solid way to harness taxpayer funds and xenophobic hate to bolster his chance in this three-way race.

The third (and for now, final) choice for Republicans is another name that’s been in the news before: Mark McCloskey. You may remember McCloskey for his role in standing behind his wife while they both waved guns at protesters who had the audacity to “walk past his house.” Or you may know this fabulously wealthy ambulance-chasing attorney from his lifetime role of being an absolutely massive a**hole. That includes the time that he smashed bee hives belonging to a Jewish synagogue, which had planned to use the honey for Rosh Hashanah.  (“The children were crying in school,” said Rabbi Susan Talve. “It was part of our curriculum.”) 

When Black Lives Matter protesters dared pass through his gated community on their way to the home of St. Louis’ mayor, McCloskey and his wife Patricia rushed out to turn this into a totally unnecessary confrontation. Though you would never know this from the way McCloskey has been feted on Fox News, or how the couple has become a right-wing symbol of standing their ground … against people who were not on their ground.

Of the three, McCloskey may be the only one who has already kicked out a campaign ad for his senatorial run, and it’s a doozy. “When the angry mob came to destroy my house and kill my family,” McCloskey says at the beginning of the ad, “I took a stand against them.”

Strangely enough, the “angry mob” didn’t destroy any homes, or kill anyone at all on their march through the city. But sure. That’s the kind of talk that earned McCloskey a guest role in several Trump rallies.

But that’s not even the best part of the ad. The best part has to be how America’s most infamous wearer of a too-small pink polo, a personal injury lawyer whose home is a baroque mansion so gaudy that it would make Gaudi scream, is featured in his ad driving a tractor and emerging from a tiny country home. It may seem counter to the intention of this article and site to actually run a Republican candidate’s campaign ad in full but hell … this one deserves to be seen. 

After all, Schitt’s Creek may be over. But with Schmitt, Greitens, and McCloskey, it’s clear that Missouri is really going down the toilet.

Greitens’ campaign off to a great start after conservative hosts asks about ‘half-rape’ allegation

In June 2018, the young GOP governor of Missouri, Eric Greitens, best known for mowing down trees with a high-caliber assault weapon during his elections campaign ads, was forced to resign in disgrace. Greitens’ former hairdresser, with whom Greitens had been carrying on an extramarital affair, accused the then-governor of sexual assault, battery, kidnapping, and blackmail. Greitens was indicted on two charges of first-degree felony invasion of privacy and a completely unrelated charge of computer tampering. Greitens had come into office on the Trump-train, bullying and angry and with such a high regard for himself that it took a Missouri GOP willing to impeach Greitens—after releasing a damning report supporting the credibility of the woman Greitens allegedly brutalized—and months of intra-party fighting before he agreed to resign. Greitens’ agreement to leave office without completely blowing up his political party seemed to include a resolution of the computer tampering charges, which were promptly dropped.

Jackson County Prosecutor Jean Peters Baker subsequently declined to bring a full case against Greitens for the sexual assault and other charges stemming out of the extramarital affair he had with his former hairdresser. The charges alleged Greitens tied up his former hairdresser and took compromising photographs of the woman, which he then threatened to expose her with. Greitens also reportedly coerced the victim into oral sex and “struck her.” At the time, Baker said that while “there was probable cause for sexual assault,” the statute of limitations had passed on some of the charges already, and “31,000 files had disappeared from Greitens' phone between an April review conducted by his legal team and a forensic examination in May ordered by a St. Louis judge.” Baker explained that with so much potential evidence destroyed, her office did not think it likely she could get a conviction on the charges. That’s what happened with Eric Greitens. That’s why he wasn’t convicted of a crime. Ironically (or poetically), on his way out the door of the governor’s mansion, Greitens signed off on a bill that criminalized some of the stuff he himself was allegedly guilty of. 

Since then Greitens, like a true sociopath, has been working the newest GOP policy strategy: Just lie like you believe the lie and maybe everyone will believe the lie. 

On Wednesday, Greitens was a guest on Salem Radio Network's The Hugh Hewitt Show, where he proceeded to attack the victim, revising the facts of the case of his alleged assault. Added to this cauldron of misogyny was Hewitt’s bizarre make-it-up belittling of the charges against him. Media Matters reports that during the interview, ostensibly about Greitens attempt to win the Republican nomination for Missouri governor this year, Hewitt asked Greitens if that thing that happened less than 30 months ago might come up—you know, the thing that ended with allegations that Eric Greitens assaulted, abused, kidnapped, and threatened a woman he had admitted to having an extramarital affair with? But Hugh did not ask it like that. He said this: “Look, you're talking to a Republican. I just want to win the Senate, Eric, and I'm afraid you'll be Todd Aikin 2.0. I'm afraid Todd Aikin got killed over ‘legitimate rape’ and in this Missouri report, you are accused by a witness of half-rape. What are you going to do when the ads attack you of half-rape?”

”Half-rape.” It’s so beyond the pale it is hard to put into words what a waste of carbon Hugh Hewitt is. The allegations against Greitens are graphic and include his accuser being repeatedly slapped and hit and sexually assaulted by Greitens. Then threatened with blackmail by Greitens. Candidate Greitens wants Hewitt and his listeners to know that the woman who said he coerced her into performing oral sex while she wept uncontrollably on a basement floor was paid off. “You gotta look at the facts. Here's the facts, sir. Again, $120,000 cash bribe was paid and the person who you're referencing said that they might be remembering their accusations through a dream.” 

Let’s first talk about this “dream” remark by Greitens. What he and his team of dozens of lawyers jumped on was the assertion his accuser made that while she was tied up and blindfolded, "I can hear like a, like a cell phone – like a picture, and I can see a flash through the blindfold." This photograph, mind you, exists. Greitens has been very cagey about whether or not he took the photo—a photo that exists. But, during a seven-hour deposition by defense lawyers, the woman said that she could not recall ever seeing Greitens in possession of a camera or a phone.

When the defense counsel asked the woman, "Did you ever see (Greitens) in possession of a camera or phone?" she answered: "Not to my knowledge. I didn’t see him with it."

An assistant circuit attorney asked the woman, "Did you see what you believed to be a phone?"

She answered, "… I haven’t talked about it because I don’t know if it’s because I’m remembering it through a dream or I – I’m not sure, but yes, I feel like I saw it after that happened, but I haven’t spoken about it because of that."

Special prosecutor Baker, when holding her press conference about the charges and the suspiciously missing evidence, made it clear that the woman charged was courageous and believable in every respect. "What is important to note about this victim through all of this is that she did not waver. Though she repeatedly faced a large, aggressive team of expensive lawyers — I’m told that list may be as high as 40 lawyers — she held her own."

The “$120,000 cash bribe,” Greitens throws in there refers to the money that was reportedly paid out to the lawyer of the woman’s ex-husband—who was also possibly working for a “wealthy Republican who did not like Greitens and that it was personal,” as reported by the Los Angeles Times in 2018. But let us be clear here: That $120,000 seems to have gone to the ex-husband’s lawyer and the ex-husband to release the photograph and a recording of the woman admitting to the affair and Greitens’ criminal behavior. That money did not go to the woman, and that woman has gotten nothing but heartache and abuse, publicly and privately, for her unfortunate connection to the former disgrace of a Navy SEAL. 

Greitens, a man in his 40s, clearly only resigned because he would have been impeached otherwise, and has been working to quickly rebuild his brand of former Navy SEAL-turned politician by restarting the clock, with rumors that he would return to the Navy to be redeployed in the field of combat.  Whether or not Greitens really planned to do that, whether or not the Navy actually would want him back, all disappeared into the news cycle. But Greitens did make one thing clear—he wants to be Missouri’s governor in 2022. The GOP is hoping that the former alleged sexual assaulter and corrupt public official won’t win the primary nomination. Of course, the Republican Party made this bed of sociopathic snakes so … they get what they vote for. And a reminder, Greitens’ short time in office included actions like signing anti-labor right-to-work laws along with almost $150 million in cuts to education and voting. He believes in pushing the policies of the Republican Party—a Party that represents people like Greitens.

Huge Hewitt has been a right-wing hack for a long time, and like all hacks, the Trump administration and its failures exposed the levels of self-degradation people like Hewitt were willing to sink to in order to stay in power and money. Like many of the archaic hucksters with right-wing microphones, Hewitt at one point in his career had been able to hide behind a “genial, agreeable style that the Beltway media mistook as thoughtful analysis.”

Yet Another Major Republican Senator Announces That He Won’t Be Running For Reelection In 2022

Various Republican senators have announced that they will not be running for reelection in 2022, including Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby, Ohio Sen. Rob Portman, and Pennsylvania Sen. Pat Toomey.

Now, yet another prominent Republican senator has announced that he will not be running for reelection next year.

Roy Blunt Announces He’s Retiring 

Republican Missouri Senator Roy Blunt, who is a member of the GOP leadership and is the ranking Republican member of the Senate Rules Committee, released a video on Monday in which he revealed he will not be seeking reelection. He has reportedly been in the Senate since 2010, according to The Daily Caller.

“After 14 general election victories, three to county office, seven to the United States House of Representatives, and four statewide elections, I won’t be a candidate for reelection to the United States Senate next year,” Blunt said in the video.

“In every job Missourians have allowed me to have, I’ve tried to do my best,” he added. “In almost 12,000 votes in the Congress, I’m sure I wasn’t right every time, but you really make that decision based on the information you have at the time.”

Related: Top GOP Senator Claims Trump Impeachment ‘Clearly Is Not Going To Happen’

“The people of Southwest Missouri overwhelmingly elected Senator Blunt seven times to the U.S. House of Representatives. Senator Blunt was elected the Majority Whip earlier in his career than any Member of Congress in eight decades, and he was elected to the Senate leadership during his first year in the Senate,” reads the biography on Blunt’s Senate website.

Related: Trump Pledges That He Will Campaign Against Lisa Murkowski In 2022

Republican Senators That Are Retiring

Blunt, 71, has said that he will finish out his current term, according to The Hill. He is the fifth Republican senator to announce that he is retiring at the end of his current term, and Sens. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) and Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) have yet to say if they will be going for reelection.

Grassley, 87, has previously said that he will come to a decision on this in the fall, while Johnson said last week that leaving office after 2022 is “probably my preference now.” Johnson had previously said that he would only run for two terms, and this is his second one. 

This piece was written by James Samson on March 8, 2021. It originally appeared in LifeZette and is used by permission.

Read more at LifeZette:
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Trump Pledges That He Will Campaign Against Lisa Murkowski In 2022
GOP Sen. Toomey Says Trump Can’t Be The GOP Nominee In 2024 Because He Cost Republicans Senate And White House

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